Saturday, April 29, 2023


When my mom has something she can’t unscrew, she calls me.
Panel 1, I’m with my mom and she’s holding out a hose with a nozzle on the end, and she says, “Can you get this nozzle off the hose for me?” and I say, “Sure, it should be easy.” Panel 2, I’m working on it, panel 3, I’m pulling hard at it, and Panel 4, my mom says, “Any luck?” and I, passed out, say “It lives on there now.”
I found her a different hose.

FYI: blogger seems to be emailing me comments again, so yay?

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Language Of Confusion: Warning, Etymology Ahead, Part II

All these words are from the Proto Indo European wer-, to cover, which gave us things like warren and warrant, and also things like garnish because words are dumb. And this week is more of the same.
Now, like I said, wer- meant to cover. Cover itself showed up in the mid twelfth century, so it’s pretty dang old. It comes from the Old French covrir, and classical Latin coperire, to cover. The co- comes from the prefix com-, though it’s thought to only be intensive here, while the rest is from operire, to close or cover. That’s taken from the Proto Indo European op-wer-yo-, where the op- means over and is the origin of the prefix epi-, and wer- is to cover. To cover over just means to really cover something. And they threw the com- prefix in there to emphasize it even more.
Covert is also from cover. It showed up in the fourteenth century from the Old French covert, which is the past participle of covrir. Then there’s discover, also from the fourteenth century. In Old French, it’s descovrir, which is taken from the Medieval Latin discoperire, which you may notice is also just cover with the dis- prefix. Dis- means “the opposite of”, so discovering is the opposite of covering something. I can see that.
Then there’s curfew. Really. It showed up in the early fourteenth century meaning the ringing of a bell at a fixed hour, which by the nineteenth century morphed to mean the restriction of movement after a certain time. The word is from the Anglo French coeverfu, from the Old French cuevrefeu, which is from covrir plus the word feu, which means fire—one of the reasons the curfew bell was rung was to warn people to put out their fires before going to sleep. A warning to cover your fire now means curfew.
The next word we’ll be looking at—prepare yourselves—is kerchief. Which is a covering, so I guess you can see how it comes from to cover. It showed up in the early thirteenth century where it could be spelled kovrechief, and it meant the same thing as we’d use it as. It’s from the Anglo French courchief, which literally meant “cover head”. The first part is from couvrir, which is from the Old French covrir, while the chief part means head, more literally than we use it these days. Yes, chief once literally meant head, and it’s from the Vulgar Latin capum, head, classical Latin caput, again, head, and the Proto Indo European word for head kaput-, and somehow that’s the origin for kaput, as in dead/broken. And I can’t even make this up, the reason why is because German took a French phrase meaning “to make a bonnet” as a way to say you’re taking all the tricks in a card game, when the French used the phrase in relation to sailing during a storm. I know it’s not related to cover, which we’re looking at, but it might be the stupidest etymology I’ve ever read.
Online Etymology Dictionary
Google Translate
University of Texas at Austin Linguistic Research Center
University of Texas at San Antonio’s page on Proto Indo European language
Dictionary of Medieval Latin
Encyclopaedia Britannica
Fordham University

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

From The Spamfiles

I’m sure you’re all relieved to know there’s still plenty of spam.

Message from Deluxe-Signature, saying Requirement for activating your $1000 line of credit, but for some reason there are two periods between each word instead of spaces.
What is with the double periods? Not quite an ellipsis, not quite the end of a sentence, and definitely not what’s supposed to go between words.

Message from Heart Health Trick, saying Heart Attack and DEATH (all caps, of course), and four heart attack warnings you shouldn’t ignore.
While I do feel it’s important to be aware of the signs of a potential heart attack, there’s no way this isn’t just trying to get me to buy something, their “heart health trick” I assume.

Message from Falcon Heating, saying Live Shows with 30,000 Ukrainian Beauties.
Honestly, a live show with 30K Ukrainian Beauties is not what I expected when I read the name “Falcon Heating”.

Message from Ms. Fatima Kabor, saying Partnership Investment slash Madam Fatima Kabor.
Sometimes I look at these and say to myself, are there people out there this actually works on? People who believe that random people will email them asking to go partners on some scheme? And then I realize the answer is yes, and that makes me very sad.
Tumblr user Jamihpkane32, a naked woman with a book in front of a strategic area, is now following me.
“This new follower is reading a book! Maybe she’s real! No, wait, she’s naked, never mind.”

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Fresh Water

A sequel to this comic. Not kidding, it took her about five seconds.
Panel 1, I’m carrying a glass of water when I see my cat in front of her empty water bowl, and I say, “Looks like you could use some fresh water.” Panel 2, I’ve put my glass on the table and am carrying the water bowl out, Panel 3, “FFFFFSSSSHHHHHH” from off screen as I fill the bowl, Panel 4, I put down a fresh bowl of water for my cat and say, “Here you go.” Panel 5, I turn to leave and go “Oop! My water!” Panel 5, I turn around and my cat already has her head in my glass instead of the fresh bowl of water she was just given.
It seems like she’s less interested in the freshness of the water than just stealing from me.

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Language Of Confusion: Warning, Etymology Ahead, Part I

I’m really pleased with this title, as we’re looking at words related to warn this week, as well as all the crazy words its related to. Though I guess in terms of etymology, it’s only slightly above average.
Warn itself comes from the Old English warnian, which is just warn, no big surprises there. That’s from the Proto Germanic waronan, which is from the Proto Indo European wer-, to cover—there are actually other versions of wer-, which are basically homonyms that have totally different meanings, some of which I’ve already looked at! But right now we’ll just be looking at the ones related to the to cover one.
It’s kind of appropriate that to cover would lead to warn. It also leads to the word warrant, which also gives us warrantee (which is just warrant with an -ee at the end). Warrant showed up in the thirteenth century, but back then it meant protector or defender, which makes a lot more sense when you think of to cover. It took on the meaning of to receive permission from a superior in the fourteenth century, and then a document conveying authority in the sixteenth century, and now we don’t use it at all in the original sense. It comes from the Old North French warant, Frankish warand, and before that the Proto Germanic war-, to warn or guard, and unsurprisingly that’s from wer-.
But what about warren? You know, like a living space for animals? Yeah, that’s related. It showed up in the late fourteenth century, from the Anglo French/Old North French warenne, a hunting reserve. It’s thought to be from warir, defend or keep, which is also from the Proto Germanic war-, but man, of words you wouldn’t think would be related to warn… And this is only the beginning.
That’s literally the last word beginning with W that’s from wer-. Next is garment, which I’m pretty sure I’ve looked at before but if I did, it was a long time ago, so whatever. And hey, a garment is a covering! It showed up in the fifteenth century, though it was also here as garnement in the fourteenth century. It’s from the Old French garnement, from the verb garnir, to adorn or provide. It’s weird to think of garment and warn as related, but you can kind of see it.
Garnish is a little more confusing. It showed up in the late fourteenth century, strictly meaning to decorate or adorn, before also meaning to arm yourself or to embellish, and then in the sixteenth century it also meant “to warn or serve notice for attachment to funds” in the legal sense. By the eighteenth century, it was also used to mean to decorate a table, so that’s three really different definitions that aren’t used all that much today. Anyway, it’s from the Old French garniss, which is also from garnir, like in garment. Garnir is from the Frankish warnjan, from the Proto Germanic warnon, which is related to the origin word of warn and from wer-. I mean, it makes sense, but wow, what a journey.
Online Etymology Dictionary
University of Texas at Austin Linguistic Research Center
University of Texas at San Antonio’s page on Proto Indo European language
Tony Jebson’s page on the Origins of Old English
Old English-English Dictionary
Encyclopaedia Britannica
Fordham University

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

From The Spamfiles

Had a nice influx of spam recently.

Message from Electricity Generator, saying Netflix knows rewards, get your $90 here, and do you love Netflix?
This probably would have worked better before Netflix ran their company into the toilet with terrible shows and movies. I do however buy that they’d be desperate enough to offer ninety dollars to get people to watch one of their shows.

Message from Your Futur (that’s how it’s spelled) saying what????!!!! And trying to get me to select my horoscope.
Probably not a good idea to get a future prediction from someone who can’t spell future.

Message from—sigh—Penis Size, saying Husband Offers Wife To African Tribesmen To Find Elongation Secret
This is such a horrifying meeting of racism and sexism. That’s it. That’s all I have to say.
 Message from Psychic Dia (with a period in between each letter) saying I have to tell you some important things! #62
Clearly one of the important things she has to tell me is not how to use periods. Apparently I’m #62 now.

Comment from Bruce telling me that someone named Dr Itua can cure Herpes, HIV, Copd, Diabetes, Parkinson (yes, there’s no S at the end), Cancer, and Lymes through his herbal store.
On a spam post no less! If you poison people with the herbs you give them and they die, all their diseases do go away, so it’s not incorrect.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

The Answer Is Nothing

Just one of those days weeks months years.
Panel 1, I’m at my computer, I say, “Okay, what do I want to work on today?”, Panel 2, I stare at the screen, Panel 3, I’m still staring at it, Panel 4, I’m laying my head down on the table looking defeated.
Maybe I wouldn’t be so stressed and unable to write if I had enough money to live off of, but unfortunately that’s not going to happen, ha ha, this world is a dystopian nightmare.

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Language Of Confusion: Maximum Carnage, Part V

Last part! Not quite as long as the last one, because there aren’t as many words that come from the Proto Indo European root sker-, to cut. Still a bunch, though.
First we’re going to look at scabbard, yes, the sheathe for a sword. It showed up in the fourteenth century as scauberc, which soon morphed into the -ard ending. It’s from the Anglo French escauberc, from the Proto Germanic sker-berg-, with the sker- part coming from skar, blade, which is from sker-. The berg part actually means protect, so a scabbard is a blade-protect. And for the record, scab is not related at all, in spite of it making sense that it would be descended from the same place.

Next is skirmish, which… I guess it can involve cutting. It showed up in the late fourteenth century as a noun and around that time for the verb—funny enough, before that, the verb was just to skirm. It’s actually from the Old French escarmouche, which got to us from the Proto Germanic skirmjanan, which is from sker-. The word scrimmage is actually from skirmish, being an alteration of it. Fairly sensible, right? Ha ha, keep reading. Screen showed up in the mid fourteenth century from the Old North French escren/Old French escran. That’s thought to be from (somehow) skirmjanan, a word that’s related to protection. A screen originally was something that “protected” from light. Sure, whatever.
Then there’s skirt. Yes, like you wear—and also like the back half of outskirt, as they’re from the same place. And that place is the word shirt. Shirt is from the Old English scyrte, while skirt is actually from the Old Norse skyrta, but both are from the Proto Germanic skurtjon, and they’re from sker-. I guess because you cut fabric, whether it be for the upper body or lower body? Still though.
Finally today, short, because things just aren’t weird enough. It’s from the Old English scort, which just means short, and before that the Proto Germanic skurta-, which is from sker-. I guess short things are something that’s been cut off. I feel vaguely offended at that.
Online Etymology Dictionary
University of Texas at Austin Linguistic Research Center
University of Texas at San Antonio’s page on Proto Indo European language
University of Texas at Arlington
Tony Jebson’s page on the Origins of Old English
Old English-English Dictionary
Fordham University

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

From The Spamfiles

Time for something a lot cheerier than the rest of life: spam.

Message from Job at Provide Insur. saying Welcome 5848, Wow!! Search for affordable insurance rates
5848? Who told you my real name?

Message from QNixWatch, saying this watch will alert you to any anomaly in your heart
A watch can do all that? Call the hospitals! We now have a fast, cheap tool for heat scans!

Message from PAYPAL (all caps, of course) telling me I need to confirm my receipt of one hundred dollars
Now I’m all bummed that someone really isn’t giving me a hundred dollars. Thanks a lot, spam.

Message from Mia Malkova, saying Mia has repliied to you with a SEXY meessage, peppered with a bunch of weird emojis
What’s with the extra vowels added to random words? I’d rather she answer that question.

Tumblr user mina-jzfreshwater49 is now following me, with a picture of a woman in a bikini against a jungle background
The spambots on Tumblr have evolved to using names and random words, but they’re still throwing in random numbers and letters as if that’s not the biggest red flag for ANY social media site. This is really low-effort for them. Try harder!

Saturday, April 8, 2023

The Howling

Real or not, this is the first time in my life I’ve ever been woken up by howling.
Panel 1, I’m asleep in bed, and a sharp “A-A-A!” noise starts, Panel 2, I wake up as an “A-woo! A-a-a-woo!” fills the room, Panel 3, I’m looking alarmed, and now there’s barking and “A-woo!” Panel 4, howling continues, and I say, “I find it concerning that I can’t tell if this is real or if I’m dreaming.”
I haven’t been able to find anyone else who heard it (I know one neighbor has dogs but I barely ever see this neighbor, and the dogs have never done this before), so I’m not one hundred percent sure this wasn’t some fragment of a dream—even when I woke up I wasn’t sure. Regardless, it was a weird experience I just had to share.

Thursday, April 6, 2023

Language Of Confusion: Maximum Carnage, Part IV

We’ve got a bunch more of these to look at! All are descended from the Proto Indo European root sker-to cut. Though it may not seem like it at times.
First we’re going to look at shard—all the words this week start with sh, I guess they got rid of the K sound. It comes from the Old English sceard, which means chipped or broken, much like a shard is. That’s from the Proto Germanic skardaz, which is from sker-. A surprisingly sensible origin. Shards are a cut piece of something!
Sharp comes from the Old English scearp, which just means sharp, big surprise. It’s from the Proto Germanic skarpaz, meaning it was the same word as sharp’s origin, but still with a P in place of the D. And that of course is from sker-, so we still aren’t making any huge leaps here.
Then there’s share, which… yeah, really. Share. It comes from the Middle English share and Old English scaeru, a division, then before that the Proto Germanic skeraz, and that’s from sker-. A share is a cut of something. I can’t believe this makes sense.
Shore showed up in the fourteenth century. It’s got a few possible origins, like the Old English scora/sceor-, which was part of place names, the Middle Low German schor, shore or coast, and the Middle Dutch scorre, land washed by sea. All are thought to be from the Proto Germanic skur-o-, cut, which is from sker-, though I don’t see the leap from cut to washed by the sea. Still, this is etymology, and you know how backwards it can be.
Nex, shear, like you shear sheep, so I can pretty much guess how this will go (spoiler: like all of the above words). It’s from the Middle English sheren, from the Old English scieran, to cut. That’s from the Proto Germanic skero-, to cut, from sker-. Yep, that’s what I thought.
But there’s also sheer, which has more varied meanings—thin (the mid sixteenth century), absolute or utter (the late sixteenth century), steep like a cliff (nineteenth century). And before all that, it showed up in the thirteenth century meaning free from guilt—the day before Good Friday, as in today, is actually called, not kidding, Sheer Thursday!!! Why such varied meanings? It’s a bit complicated, but sheer was scir in Old English and meant bright, pure, or translucent—so thin and absolute make sense, though steep not so much. Anyway, it’s from the Proto Germanic skeran, which is from sker-. This was definitely the weirdest one.
Happy Sheer Thursday, everyone.
Online Etymology Dictionary
University of Texas at Austin Linguistic Research Center
University of Texas at San Antonio’s page on Proto Indo European language
University of Texas at Arlington
Tony Jebson’s page on the Origins of Old English
Old English-English Dictionary
In Depth Germanic Language Studies
History Of The Dutch Language

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

April Goals

Oh frig. March is done already? But it sucked!!!
March Goals
1. Actually edit the web serial this time.
Hey, I actually started this! It’s a miracle.
2. Hopefully find some way to recharge. And maybe sleep!
Failed this one. I’m so tired. I’ve heard people say they wake up in the mornings no longer feeling tired but I think that might be a lie.
3. Keep searching for a way to get rid of those m*****f*****g rounded window corners in everything I try to use on my computer. Don’t get Windows 11. Stick with 10.
This one’s not my fault, but the fault of Microsoft, who created an operating system designed to inflict torture on people. One of the updates for it literally broke my computer. I had to roll it back, and now it keeps bugging me to download the computer-breaking update. I miss 10 so much. I took it for granted. It was the least awful of all operating systems.
So that was March. It was the worst. I doubt April’s going to be any better.
April Goals
1. Finish the web serial edits. Not sure I’ll be able to get there, but I should be able to get close.
2. Update my etymology page. You know what a treat this always is. Stupid Google.
3. Find some way to get my work out there more. Not that I have any idea how to do this…
Ugh, March. Ugh, April.
What do you want to do this month?

Saturday, April 1, 2023


Why does EVERYTHING have to come in stupid flavors?
Panel 1, I’m walking along with a package of yogurt raisins, I say, “Mmm, yogurt raisins.” Panel 2, I eat some of the raisins, Panel 3, I make a disgusted face as I’m chewing, Panel 4, I look at the pack and say, “‘Peanut butter and jelly flavor’. They neglected to mention the secret ingredient of puke.”
I know it’s my own fault for picking up the wrong package in the store, but COME ON. Is it that impossible to make a flavor that doesn’t taste like it was scraped off the bottom of someone’s shoe?