Tuesday, April 11, 2023

From The Spamfiles

Time for something a lot cheerier than the rest of life: spam.

Message from Job at Provide Insur. saying Welcome 5848, Wow!! Search for affordable insurance rates
5848? Who told you my real name?

Message from QNixWatch, saying this watch will alert you to any anomaly in your heart
A watch can do all that? Call the hospitals! We now have a fast, cheap tool for heat scans!

Message from PAYPAL (all caps, of course) telling me I need to confirm my receipt of one hundred dollars
Now I’m all bummed that someone really isn’t giving me a hundred dollars. Thanks a lot, spam.

Message from Mia Malkova, saying Mia has repliied to you with a SEXY meessage, peppered with a bunch of weird emojis
What’s with the extra vowels added to random words? I’d rather she answer that question.

Tumblr user mina-jzfreshwater49 is now following me, with a picture of a woman in a bikini against a jungle background
The spambots on Tumblr have evolved to using names and random words, but they’re still throwing in random numbers and letters as if that’s not the biggest red flag for ANY social media site. This is really low-effort for them. Try harder!

6 comments:

  1. Actually, my father has a smart watch that does monitor his heart and health and will alert paramedics and family if something is askew. But I'm sure that email isn't selling real ones.

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  2. You'd think scammers would do what they can to make their emails look legit, not make them look as spammy as possible...

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  3. In numerology, you take a number, say 5848, and you add the digits together until you get a one digit number. So, that makes you seven. Or Seven. (Yeah, I got nothing.)

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  4. I am sure quite a lot of people will fall for that watch email.

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  5. You work so hard to protect your real identity, but the spammers still track it down. *sad head shake*

    I think the extra vowels have to do with delivery when the email is inevitably read aloud. :)

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  6. 5848 is your Borg designation.

    Resistance is futile.

    ReplyDelete

Please validate me.