Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Things Not to Have in your Twitter Profile

Another Twitter post because honestly, I just keep stumbling across some bizarre things. I don’t know how people do it on The Face Book, but on Twitter, the skill is being able to describe something in 140 characters, or 160 for your profiles. It can be a challenge, yes, but don’t trip into the following Profile Pitfalls:

1. Don’t have nothing but hashtags.
#writer #person #something else #a bunch of other things #all in one word #so what I’m doing here is a little misleading #but you get it
Somehow I have doubts about your writing ability if your profile only has one word hashtags. PS: same goes when you have nothing but nouns punctuated by commas.

2. Nothing but links to your book.
www.buybookone.com, www.buybooktwo.com, www.buybookthree.com, www.doitnow.com, www.seriouslyiknowwhereyoulive.com
It’s one thing to promote your books. It’s quite another when there is literally nothing about you. To me, this seems like a red flag that this person is going to do nothing but spam tweets with these same links in them, and sometimes I like to actually connect with people on Twitter.

3. Nothing but shortened links.
www.acoupleofletters.com (really www.younowhaveavirus.com)
I don’t like shortened links. You don’t know where they lead to and it’s like picking up some strange in a bar: it could be all right, but it could also infect you up the wazoo. I generally do not follow back people with shortened links. It’s another red flag that you’ll be spammed, and it’s probably not going to be something as innocuous as book promotions.

4. A quote from somebody else.
“Something really deep.” Misattributed author.
Generally, these tweeters also have nothing but quotes as their tweets, too. Back when I first started on Twitter and didn’t really get was going on, I followed a few of these people. I got nothing but spam DMs. Lesson learned.

5. Really creepy descriptions.
I like fairies, and unicorns, and skinning people alive, and wishing wells.
Okay, that’s exaggerating, but you get the idea. Someone once followed me with the description of both “14 year old” and “amateur psychoanalyst.” There’s just something off about that. How about this one: “I WILL ELIMINATE YOUR NEGATIVE ENERGIES!” It’s almost a threat.

Okay, so that’s all for today. Remember, if you’re on Twitter or might be someday, don’t be a spammer. Or a creep. Really, really don’t be a creep.


  1. LOL -- Great advice! I stay away from those profiles, too.
    Also creepy profile pics.

  2. Yes, avoid the creeps! Some of the profile descriptions are so vague. And if you have a blog or a website, please add that link to your profile so I can find you elsewhere. Or recognize you.

  3. I'd like to add 'foul language in your bio.' (I'm not a prude. It's just not the best first impression.) And if you have an image of you sitting in a stripper club as your wallpaper, I'm not going to follow back. o_0

  4. You know, Spam is okay if you fry it.
    Now, buy my book.
    And my other one.
    And the other one, too.

  5. I think I've come across amateur psychoanalysts....

    And www.seriouslyiknowwhereyoulive.com is the home page of Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction....

  6. Don't they give you a spot to put in a website? I seem to recall doing that for my profile. Why one would need to put other websites in the bio, I have no idea.

    Speaking of profiles... *shifts eyes*.

  7. LOL! I love that last one. I know the short links came from back in the day when even links counted as part of your character count, but I never realized they could be considered problematic. Wow. I feel like my eyes have been opened.

  8. Dangit, and I was just about to add "skinning people alive" to my list of hobbies.

  9. Love these :) I must be a really boring person as I didn't tick any of the points!
    Suzanne @ Suzannes Tribe


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