Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Spam Highlights, 1

As we’re approaching another holiday, I’m taking it easy. How easy? It’s not only a spam post, it’s a spam post of spam I’ve already posted this year. Think of it as the best of the worst.
 message from “Get Hard To”, lauding an incredible erection superfood (with superfood in quotes), and lots of zeros in place of Os for some reason
One of the first spam messages I posted this year! It kind of set the tone for the rest of the year.

message from a woman who, after fasting and prayer, was given my name by god. She’s a widow with cancer and a farmer slash gold and diamond dealer, and she throws “The Lord” into the message about five times
It wouldn’t be spam without a cancer widow. She really shouldn’t have been fasting when she, you know, has cancer. How many more times can she throw “The Lord” in there?

message from “Helga newsletter” with a website that is a bunch of random numbers and letters, then “fly rescue dot club”, and she’s acting like we know each other and she wants me to come visit her in her new flat
Because I know just so many people named Helga. And how about that email address? What the hell is fly-rescue-dot-club? You know, besides a spam email account.
 Message from John Abajian, protocol manager, urgently seeking my service to represent his corporation in my region, but I’m only to respond if I consider myself capable for details
Hmmm. Nope. I definitely don’t consider myself capable for details. Sorry, John Abajian, Protocol Manager.

message from Matt Brown, Marketing Consultant, asking how it is possible my website is having so many errors, talking about all the problems I supposedly have while being as unspecific as possible
I don’t think I’ll be hiring anyone for marketing when they have that many grammatical errors in their solicitation email.


  1. You get the best (or should that be worst) spam!

  2. Well, think of it this way- thought she doesn't actually have it, Cancer Widow Anna deserves to actually get cancer.

  3. Why with the grammatical errors, though? You'd think they wouldn't get as many bites. But then again, how many bites do they really get? (No, I don't want to know the answer to that question.)


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