Sunday, May 8, 2011

I Hope You Remembered

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there! Are you enjoying being waited on hand and foot and told how wondrously magical you are?

Because that's what my mom tells me I'm supposed to do.

To celebrate, I'm going to transcribe actual conversations between me and my mother. Afterwards, you'll all be nodding your head and saying "That explains a lot. A lot."

Conversation 1:
Me: What do you want for Mother's Day?

My Mom: You know, I'd be happy with a card with a nice message in it.

Me (long pause): Can I please buy you something?

Conversation 2:
My mom: Who's Cee-Lo Green?

Me: A singer. You know, F**k You.

My mom: Hey! F**k you!

Me: No! That's the name of the song!

My mom: What song?

Me: F**k You!

My mom: F**k you!

Me (realizing she's being annoying): Stop it! That's the name of the song!

My mom: And it's on the radio?

Me: Yes! All the time! They don't say F**k You. It's usually bleeped or "forget."

My mom: How does it go?

I try to mimic the song. It does not go well.

My mom: Never heard of it.

Me: Yeah, well...


  1. Rumors that Cee-Lo is including that song in a Mother's Day card remain unconfirmed.

  2. Did you manage to find her a gift? Please tell me you got her that song.

  3. I wish Blogger had a like button, so I could like Liz's comment. As many times as possible.

  4. Who's on first, mom style! For those who don't know about the 'who's on first' routine by Abbott and Costello, that will not make any sense.

  5. Oh this was such a fun read. Thank you for sharing :P

  6. mothers are impossible - I try not to communicate with mine unless absolutely necessary.

  7. Ha ha ha! I was going to make the "who's on first" comment but someone beat me to it... Oh, well. Actually, convos with my mom aren't all that different!

    Also, my mom's thing is coming into the room while you're in the middle of a conversation with someone else and repeating what you or the other person just said. Five seconds ago. She's sooooooo cute! ;-)


Please validate me.