Saturday, March 15, 2014

Apocalypse Scenario 1: Zombies

It’s a zombie apocalypse! Oh noes! What do I do?

General Zombie Apocalypse Survival
1. Don’t assume a headshot will kill a zombie. It could be an original-Night-of-the-Living-Dead zombie, and nothing but total immolation could kill those.

2. Should you be in a scenario where headshots do work, still always consider a zombie to be dangerous, even if you’ve neutralized it. It might only be stunned or you could inadvertently be exposed to the zombie virus by merely touching it.

3. In order to reduce risk of infection, behead all dead zombies and burn them. Be sure to use heavy-duty gloves while in contact with them.

4. Never not kill a zombie if you have the chance. Less of them equals less of them. Seriously, if there is a zombie and you can kill it, do it or you just know it will come back to kill you/your loved ones in an ironic death. Which I think happens on The Walking Dead at least once a season.

5. Stay out of cities. Where there’s lots of people, there’s lots of zombies.

6. Stay out of buildings/houses during your regular travels. Outside, there’s a lot less chance of getting boxed in. And always check every room before you decide to bunk down for the night in a strange house. Do you want to wake up and find something gnawing on you?

7. Not all zombies decay—think of 28 Days Later, where the virus didn’t reanimate the dead, but made the living act like them. The advantage of “living” zombies is that they will eventually starve to death. The disadvantage: they won’t decay and thus will always be able to hear, see, and smell you.

8. Don’t use chainsaws. Just don’t. What if it gets stuck halfway through the shoulder blade? Then you still have a zombie plus no weapon.


So what will you do when the living dead rise?

12 comments:

  1. What will I do when the living dead rise? Hadn't thought about that, will have to add Walking Dead to my to watch list - they've survived 4 seasons so must be doing something right!
    Suzanne @ Suzannes Tribe
    xx

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  2. That's right - avoid populated areas. More people, more zombies.
    And always remember to double-tap.

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  3. The more firepower the better.

    And hang around with someone who's a slower runner than you are.

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  4. I think I'll hide behind my niece. Assuming she brings her bow.

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  5. I'm not thinking a chainsaw is getting stuck. But not my weapon of choice. Ever. They are too hard to control, and you're just as likely to cut your arm off as the zombie's.

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  6. Hi JE - I've come over from Tina, one of the A-Z Challenge co-hosts site, to welcome you along to the great Challenge party ... I see you're up and ready with your badge .. and you know a few other participants ...

    Tina can be found here: http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.co.uk/ for any questions, or let me know .. and looking forward to seeing you around ...

    Now if zombies were around I'd be running in the other direction! I'm sure there are zombies everywhere - thankfully they don't show themselves ... Cheers Hilary

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  7. I'd think wearing one of those outfits they use when training guard dogs would be a good idea.

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  8. Chainsaws may not be good on zombies, but they are absolutely essential for Sharknadoes.

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  9. My kids are utterly obsessed with zombies at the moment and keep asking me indepth questions about them as if I'll know the answers.... This may help!

    I tagged you in a blog-hop over on my blog. You're it!

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  10. I think I'd probably end up a zombie snack pretty early on in the event of a zombie apocalypse. But I do have a few swords (and no chainsaw), so maybe I'll be all right for a while. But I doubt it...

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  11. Oh no. *glances over shoulder* Don't let my son see this.

    He asked my while we were driving the other day, "So, Mom, what would we do in the case of a zombie apocalypse?"

    "Son, there's no such thing."

    "I know. ...But, Mom, seriously, what would we do?"

    xD Kids....

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  12. no chainsaws?!!!???!!! But, but, but.... ;)

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Please validate me.