Tuesday, August 11, 2020

From The Spamfiles

You know what? More spammers need to be offering to be your buddy. We could all use more buddies right now.

All legitimate charity offerings address you as beneficiary, and include lots of exclamation points.

Here’s what bugs me about these: the strikethrough over the 18. That seems to imply that they don’t want people 18 and over, which of course means this adult dating list is… for children?!!?!

Army majors are always contacting random people for investment proposals while they’re supposed to be out in the field. This kind of thing happens all the time. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

If you want to keep your photos private, maybe don’t go emailing them to everybody. Also, there’s that 18-strikethrough again. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY???

Just posting this one because I find the name “Hecklinger” to be strangely hilarious. What the Hecklinger are you trying to say? Go to Hecklinger! To Hecklinger and back again.

Seriously, we have to start using it as slang. Who’s with me?


  1. Hecklinger? Lingering in heck? I don't want to go there.

  2. Not only does this Hecklinger guy have a great name, he tries to fit the whole email into the subject line!

  3. Yes, Hecklinger is a great name. And it might even make a great swear word for the world I'm constructing. . .

  4. You know that email is true because no one would make up a name like that. If the name is real, you -must- be someone's heir.
    Man, I want my "your rich relative just died" email...


Please validate me.