From The Spamfiles

You ready?

This one is just kind of bizarre. First the whole “Staff Shirts & Photos” thing—what does that even mean? Then there’s the fact that the message itself has one of those click here to stop receiving these notifications thing, which is basically the spammiest thing ever. Then there’s the rather mundane message asking how I am, that I could almost mistake for being real if it didn’t have a few rogue capital letters in there. Taken all together, it’s just weird.

Oh great, they’re after Greg again. Apparently they have a role that’s perfect for him.

This message is in Spanish, and I know just enough of that to be able to see what a scam this is. No one says “I have the honor of presenting a product” that isn’t trying to get your money.
 

Seriously, what’s with all the commas? Are you taking a really long pause???

Why is this guy’s profile pic a bedroom set??? I don’t know what “Dota” is, though it really seems like a setup for a “deez nutz” joke.
 
Let’s try all.

From The Spamfiles

I love posts that I don’t have to think about. These are just so easy.

Compliment of the day! Whoops, I’m sorry. Complement of the day. I guess it balances out the day instead of praising it.

I think these Greg messages are getting lazier.

A butterfly in your stomach? Just one? How vaguely disturbing.

If I didn’t want the subscription, why would I confirm it? I hate it when the spammers don’t logically think things through.

That sounds more like a her problem than a me problem.

Okay, why is the little symbol after Snapcheat a hurricane? What could this possibly be referring to??? Why is this bothering me so much????????

From The Spamfiles

Whoo! Another Tuesday! That means more spam!

Local Ladies° is approximately 108.5° Fahrenheit (or 42.5° Celsius).

Lake Stevens, that’s for Greg. He really has to get on top of his unclaimed assets. Because he has a lot of them.

Now, Brazilian women are not Hispanic (they’re Portuguese speaking), but they are indeed Latina. The more you know.

Save money on your home warranty by replaces spaces with underscores!

Once again, spam eliciting me to unsubscribe by writing to a physical address. Because apparently you unsubscribe to spam like we’re in the fifties.

Sigh. I bet all three of those statements are total lies. But presumably you can see the photos.