Tuesday, January 17, 2023

From The Spamfiles

First spam of the new year! Finally!!! I’m totally sick of all the introspection.

Spam from You’re Approved, with two periods in between the words, with a title saying Confirmation Needed, again with two periods between it, saying they can repair my home plain and simple
Two periods, so it’s too much to be the end of a sentence, but not enough to be an ellipsis. What are you, two periods? What do you mean???

Message from Sara RB saying Hi Robert I love you
Boy is she going to be disappointed when she finds out I’m not Robert.

Message from Confirm (with a heart emoji) saying unsubscribe from adult dating, then confirm to stop followed by a bunch of question marks
You have to subscribe to date adults? There’s something disturbing about this whole idea.

Message from Dish TV, saying I can get eight hundred forty dollars off my TV Bill with a VIP offer
Eight hundred forty dollars??? I know cable companies have a stranglehold on subscribers, but seriously how much are people paying for television? They know streaming services are only about a hundred fifty dollars a year, right?????

Twitter follower with Cyrillic letters for a name, no profile pic, the handle “Porno Aleksan”, and a link in their bio to Pornhub
Got this new follower a month or so ago, and of course they disappeared not long after. I’m surprised they didn’t at least put up a profile pic of a half-naked woman to entice me for their porn scam.


  1. I've been getting a lot of those half-naked followers. They don't last long.

  2. A former colleague, fortunately long gone, had a habit of putting extra periods at the end of sentences in emails. She claimed she was trying to "keep the conversation going". Whatever that meant.

    If you saw her actually typing, she was abusing the keyboard of her computer by tapping with way too much force.

    Finally after driving everyone in the department (and some beyond) crazy, and with her competency skills taking a nose dive, the department head advised her it was time for her to find another job.

  3. I am a huge fan of the ellipses (as you know), but the double periods just make me feel skeevey! It's so wrong.

  4. When Verizon sold off Fios to Frontier, they were sending some ridiculous bills. (A big reason why I don't ever do autopay on any of my bills. They were just billing for crazy amounts that they...just...took out of people's bank accounts.) But I don't think I heard any $800 horror stories. $500, sure...


Please validate me.