Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Top Four…

Things you shouldn’t do on Twitter (but which I totally do anyway). Because…I don’t know. I like lists, I guess.

1. Talk about inconsequential things like being bored, seeing something not all that strange but that you think is interesting, cats.
            Why it’s wrong: No one really cares about seeing a guy sleeping on the bus or hearing about how much you hated some woman at the store who should not have been in the damn express lane with something like fifty items, seriously, what the hell.
            Why I do it anyway: Because sometimes the spider outside my window freaks me out and I want to share. And face it. You all love hearing about what the cats are up to.

2. Tweet about how you’re going to sleep.
            Why it’s wrong: Again, no one really cares. It’s social media. You can leave without announcing yourself.
            Why I do it anyway: Sometimes I’m in the middle of conversations and I want to make sure people know why I’m not responding. It’s not that the subject is closed. I just can’t keep my eyes open anymore.

3. Complain about people/minor annoyances.
            Why it’s wrong: No one likes persistent negativity.
            Why I do it anyway: One part need for commiseration one part hope that maybe someone in Twitterland has a way around it. Even I have my limits, though. But sometimes the political calls, advertisements and commercials get to be too much and if I don’t say anything my brains will burst out of my skull.

4. Self-promote.
            Why it’s wrong: The “social” part of social media means people want to interact with you, not read an advertisement aboutyou.
            Why I do it anyway: I don’t usually, since I don’t often have anything to promote, but there are occasions. I try to keep it within an acceptable ratio: for every one promotion, there’s at least four non-related tweets. They have to be spaced out, too. Just as long as people know I’m a person, not a spambot.

There. Well, I at least think I’m more accurate about Twitter than I am on what makes a popular post. Have a fun weekend!


  1. Mmm... spambot...
    That's a robot made of spam, right? You know, fried spam is good; I wonder what fried spambot is like?

  2. Twitter is so overwhelming that I just ignore that stuff. I don't mind the little things, like "I saw this cute cat." I like to know that the Twitterers are human, not just spamming me.

  3. I disagree. I prefer the random tweets about little inconsequential things. (I do agree with #4, though. The ones that only self-promote don't stay in my Twitter feed for long.)

    Although, I am guilty of the self-promotion. I try to not do it often.

  4. I have a twitter account but I rarely use it anymore.


  5. Fried spambot tastes like chicken. With a side of axle grease and shredded e-flyers.

    Of course people want to hear about the cats. They are, after all, the ultimate life form on the planet.


Please validate me.