Tuesday, October 13, 2020

From The Spamfiles

Okay, of all the things to capitalize, why each and only each?

Everything about this one feels unsettling in a way I can’t quantify. The name “lilwickdon”, the droplets emoji, the awkward phrasing of “married happily ever after”. It’s just off. Like looking at a completely realistic human doll. It might look human, but it’s not, and you can tell.

Not Jasmine but Jasmine!! She’s extra excited about her name!

Uh oh. I seem to have misplaced my wife. Maybe if I shake the food bag, she’ll come running. Or is that cats? I might be thinking of cats.

How do you shave like a million bucks? Money doesn’t shave. It’s not even associated with shaving. Seriously, who wrote this advertising copy? Because they aren’t good at their job.

That’s just like the United Nations to give out fund payments from a Nigerian bank. They do that, like, all the time.


  1. You can shave the whales. Wait, maybe that's also save...

  2. I do random capitalizations, too, but generally that's just me holding the shift key too long. And I try to go back and fix it before I sent out the email ;)

  3. I don't know, you can get paper cuts. Maybe you can shave with a million bucks, as long as they're new bills.


Please validate me.