Tuesday, May 19, 2015

From the Spamfiles

If you’re new to this whole thing, the Spamfiles is my sideblog on Tumblr where I collect all the insane, ridiculous spam I receive in my email. You might call it clutter. I call it comedy gold.

There’s a reason I don’t do comedy.

 A patch for PE. I wish they had those when I was in school. I hated gym class.

Okay, this. I can’t imagine the person who would believe that some woman wants to give away all her money to some random person she emailed over the internet. Who would believe that’s a thing? (Which just makes me think that there must be someone who falls for it, otherwise I wouldn’t be getting so many of these…)

 A popular variation of the above is the daughter left unable to access her money after the death of her parents, usually because of the interference of an evil relative, although that’s not the case here. Instead this woman, who links to an article about a real event as if that’s proof, just can’t get access to her father’s bank account even though she’s his next of kin. My favorite part is that she’s gone through my “remarkable profile” and writing me with “pains, tears and sorrow”.

I keep getting emails from this Doctor Maxman, but I’m beginning to think that he isn’t a real doctor.

Finally, I’d like to share with you something that popped up when I was watching TV on my laptop (it’s actually my old lap top, too…sigh…I still miss you!). Anyway, my email account has been temporary suspended due to infections on my computer, which I just love. I wonder who would answer if I called that number and if they’d be surprised that I didn’t just close out the pop up and ignore it because my email is obviously fine.

Okay, I’m all spammed out for now. Anyone else have any amusing spam stories to share?


  1. You do get your fair share of spam. I almost never get any.
    It's sad, but you're right - they wouldn't keep sending those emails if they didn't sometimes get results.

  2. Ah, spam...
    Well, you know where all of my best goes.

  3. The best one I ever got was one where the person had obviously Googled me and found my father's name. So I got this scam email saying my father had been in an accident in Nigeria and they needed money to get his body returned home. Luckily I'd just spoken on the phone to my father the day before so I knew it was garbage because his being in Nigeria was not out of the realm of possibility at the time.

  4. I just discarded one this morning from some poor person in China needing money. How will I live with myself now?

  5. I get all this crap in my email too. But I am fascinated by the spam blog comments caught by my WordPress filter. There are ones that advertise fake designer handbags and scarves. I get that. There are some that tell me they can help optimize my site. I get that too. More baffling are the strings of random text. What is that doing for the spammer? And then there are the ones that insult me: "Your blog used to be good, but you are slipping." "Well, duh. That's obvious, isn't it?" "This blog isn't as interesting as it used to be."

    What do the spam senders get out of insulting me? Am I supposed to chase them back through their link to defend myself and get a virus at their site?

    Spam is weird.

  6. It's amazing the amount of effort that goes into stuff like this. I wonder about people who might fall for it. I always find requests to advertise shoes and other products on my blog amusing, because obviously that's what I'm all about.

  7. I've got another one of these coming up at some point. The tell-tales are all there in these ones.

    As for spam, I find it precious that a spammer calling my readers "brain dead" will endear them to me.

  8. I've gotten a bunch where someone says she saw my profile somewhere and wants a date (or something...). Notice I said "she"...

  9. I never open them and read them. When it's from a woman and the heading is 'Sweetie,' 'Handsome.' Someone must fall for it or they wouldn't keep doing it.

  10. I always wonder who falls for these things. Someone must, or spammers wouldn't keep dong it. My fave is when the "FBI" emails me. If the FBI really wanted my attention, I somehow doubt they'd resort to email. Just sayin'.

  11. Someone came up to me about an email offering money. It took me awhile to convince him it was spam. Yes, people do fall for these things.

    I only get a few about money. I get a lot from women who must think I'm a man.


Please validate me.