Saturday, October 13, 2012

It’s Tidy in the Large Sense

To the giant spider that somehow crawled up a pipe and into my bathroom sink: this is for you. Go die now.

Like this. Only bigger. Much, much bigger.

The Tidy, Mighty Spider
(sung to the tune of The Itsy Bitsy Spider, a title I believe to be a fallacy)

The tidy, mighty spider
Crawled out the bathroom drain

I turned the faucet and
Washed the spider down

I plugged up the drain and
When I returned again

The tidy, mighty spider
Popped out th’plug for its revenge

If only this weren’t what actually happened. It actually popped out the drain plug, that’s how big it was, is what I’m saying.

Now I shall retreat to my corner with the torch I use to burn all the spiders that are after me, you know it’s true.


  1. We have totally different spider experiences. I was taught that spiders are good (they eat the insects), so when I find a large one, I gently scoop it up (invert cup, then slide paper underneath), and take it outside.

    The other day, a salamander came into the house and tried to climb the stairs. That freaked me out.

  2. That is terrifying. Yuk! We sing the isty version of that song to the children at work and it just feels wrong. Who wants to sing about cute little spiders climbing a water spout? They are gross!

  3. *shudders* I hate spiders. Especially ones that invade the bathroom.

    Send it over to Elise Fallson. She loves bugs. :P

  4. There's a huge spider sculpture outside our National Gallery..


Please validate me.