There’s a lot of talk about “growing a thick skin” when you receive critiques. They can be scathing, and you want to be tough enough to weather the burns. But I—gasp—disagree.
I don’t think you have to be tough when you receive a critique. Maybe it’s just because I’m an emotional, over-sensitive person, but it bothers me to be critiqued. When I received a crit recently, it upset me. But I know that didn’t necessarily mean it was wrong. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with it, and I’m grateful my CP was so thorough.
But it still upset me.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I really don’t think people can help how they feel about anything. I’m not saying threaten to gouge out your eyes because someone moved a comma or didn’t like a character. Keep things in perspective and remember, people can still choose how to react. And that’s where the real challenge comes in. Being sad/angry/whatever and still knowing not to start up a Facebook page burning your critiquer.
“Grow a thick skin” isn’t helpful for someone who doesn’t have one and has no concept on how to grow one. Instead, I recommend, “Don’t let your emotions have full control over your actions.” A bit wordy, but valid nonetheless. Feel, but remember there are other sections to your brain with things like logic, reason and thought for the future. Use those.
Control yourself and you don’t need a thick skin.