Saturday, October 22, 2011

Third Campaigner Challenge

Welp, here’s my entry for Rach Harrie's Third Campaigner Challenge! I know, I didn’t enter the second one. I planned to but got major writer’s block whenever I sat down to do it : (. Yes, I’m terrible. Personally, I blame editing for sapping my creativity. Because it’s obviously not my fault.  

And here are the rules:

Now for the Challenge (and please note the word count change!):

    Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

        that it’s morning,

        that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach

        that the MC is bored

        that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting

        that something surprising happens.

    Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise."   (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).

Got it? So here’s my story. I hope I managed the show-not-tell okay…

Fresh Air
Salt air overruns my nose and I know I’m there before I leave the forest. Even with the nuclear waste bubbling on top, the water is beautiful. It ripples, curls into waves. It’s alive.

I take off my shoes and run, almost not caring that the synbatec is much softer than sand and doesn’t have that gritty feel I miss. But there are no harsh UV lights here. Just the sun’s golden veils. No boring, sterile air either. I inhale deep, gag, kneel down before I puke.

Breathing through my mouth, I can sit down and enjoy the hum of the wastopaneers as they filter the nuclear waste. At first, I like watching the tide flow in and out. It’s so much better than the holographs. But after a few minutes, I can’t tell the difference and the sun is now blinding me like the UV lights in the Tacise.

I flick sybatec beads, roll them between my fingers. They’re not quite blocky enough to balance on top of each other, but I try anyway.

I risked contamination for this?

“Hey! You!”

My head whips around. Shadows move forward in the dark. The Unclean! They live!

I run back into the forest. Sticks jab my feet, blackened branches dig into my face. But I have to return to the safety of the Tacise. I never thought there was a reason for the underground research station other than all their experiments. They were right. I can’t believe they were right.

Oh god. When I check, they’re following me. And then a downed tree appears in front of me. I crash right into it.
Branches crunch behind me. I gag again. My tongue feels like it’s ready to rip out of my mouth. Did the sea come to get me?



  1. Scary vision of the future, but I love the tension in this piece. I could feel the MC's desperation. And the way you used the words for worldbuilding was brilliant. Well done.

  2. Very nice. I could really picture rolling the bead. Mine is #56

  3. Whoa! That was completely awesome! You have my vote! I took an environmental approach as well. Great job!

    I'm entry #5

  4. Good job! I love the whole nuclear waste clearing. I like your descriptions too.

  5. It sounds like the character lives in a dangerous world--great writing!

  6. I think that you did an excellent job with showing. I could visulize it very well. Great job, I liked.

  7. I would like to know a lot more about this world!
    Mine is #25.

  8. You left me hanging. That's not fair. I want to know what's going to happen. Excellent work! :)

  9. So not fair to leave this as a cliffhanger. Well described setting and an eerie future.

  10. I'm a judge in the third campaigners challenge and you have moved into the second phase of judging! Big congrats!!!


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