---I’m thinking a publisher that promises to harass JK Rowling until she reads your book isn’t a good publisher.
---Although actually, they were taking $49 from writers to ask her to read their books. They could take the money, ask her, and she could go “Get away from me before I mace you,” and they’d still be doing what they were being paid for.
---I was watching Speedthe other day and marveling how little that movie makes sense. You’re pursuing a mad bomber and you storm his house? You shoot a hostage because it “takes them out of the equation” (uh, hello, it also means there is no reason to keep him/her alive!)? That Sandra Bullock somehow managed to stay attached to her arms even though she was handcuffed to a speeding subway car crashing through a road?
---But nothing is as mind boggling as the freaking bus jump. From views of the highway, we can see both sides of the break are at the same height. And the laws of physics state that the bus should not have made itbecause no matter how fast you are going or how big/small the gap is, gravity will pull you down. Seeing as how it was a fifty foot gap, they should have smashed into one of the highway supports.
---My mom always tells me I have to let stuff like that go and just enjoy the movie. I try, but then something like Terminator II comes along and makes a fool out of causality.
---A person can live buried in a coffin for about one to two hours. It depends on how big it is and how much they panic.
---Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.
---Another addition to the morbidity file: at it's weakest point, it takes sixteen pounds of pressure to crack the skull of an adult human.
---Cows face magnetic north when they graze, or they turn around and face south. All cows. Everywhere.
---We’re through the looking glass here, people.
---It’s technically illegal to sing “Happy Birthday to You” in public.
---And finally, I leave you with the best conversation ever:
My mom: I went up to the bank to get money and wouldn’t you know it, the drive up ATM is broken. The only other one is clear across town and I’m heading in the other direction. So I had no money.
Me: Did you try the one inside?
My mom: …I did not.