Saturday, October 15, 2011

Random Thoughts

---I’m thinking a publisher that promises to harass JK Rowling until she reads your book isn’t a good publisher.
---Although actually, they were taking $49 from writers to ask her to read their books. They could take the money, ask her, and she could go “Get away from me before I mace you,” and they’d still be doing what they were being paid for.
---I was watching Speedthe other day and marveling how little that movie makes sense. You’re pursuing a mad bomber and you storm his house? You shoot a hostage because it “takes them out of the equation” (uh, hello, it also means there is no reason to keep him/her alive!)? That Sandra Bullock somehow managed to stay attached to her arms even though she was handcuffed to a speeding subway car crashing through a road?
---But nothing is as mind boggling as the freaking bus jump. From views of the highway, we can see both sides of the break are at the same height. And the laws of physics state that the bus should not have made itbecause no matter how fast you are going or how big/small the gap is, gravity will pull you down. Seeing as how it was a fifty foot gap, they should have smashed into one of the highway supports.
---My mom always tells me I have to let stuff like that go and just enjoy the movie. I try, but then something like Terminator II comes along and makes a fool out of causality.
---A person can live buried in a coffin for about one to two hours. It depends on how big it is and how much they panic.
---Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.
---Another addition to the morbidity file: at it's weakest point, it takes sixteen pounds of pressure to crack the skull of an adult human.
---Cows face magnetic north when they graze, or they turn around and face south. All cows. Everywhere.
---Deer too.
---We’re through the looking glass here, people.
---It’s technically illegal to sing “Happy Birthday to You” in public.
---And finally, I leave you with the best conversation ever:

My mom: I went up to the bank to get money and wouldn’t you know it, the drive up ATM is broken. The only other one is clear across town and I’m heading in the other direction. So I had no money.

Me: Did you try the one inside?

My mom: …I did not.


  1. Awesome stuff that I probably wouldn't have thought about :) The cow one is crazy! And the sixteen pounds of pressure one, though morbid, makes me happy that football players wear helmets. I feel bad for rugby players. The ATM story was really cute :)

  2. I hated Speed. I can't believe I forgot it to add it to my worst movies ever list! I guess that's how bad it was. Or just how stupid.

  3. So, next time a class wants to sing "Happy Birthday" to a classmate, I can tell them no? Really? Because, that's so cool!

    Ah, Speed. I remember hearing when they were filming that freeway was finished but not open (the 105). The filmmakers needed a gap somewhere, so that gap? All special effects. That bridge was finished.

    The cows? That's fascinating. I wonder why.

  4. I loathe that movie. Mind you, most action movies provoke that in me.

    I find the coffin thing disturbingly reassuring-- at least I wouldn't be conscious for long.

  5. Speed is totally unbelievable but I liked it anyway :)

    Awesome facts about cows and deer facing magnetic north when they graze. Is that really true? Where did you come up with that? Is it true of other grazing animals... horses? goats? sheep?

    The 16 pounds of pressure one makes me worry even more about my son playing football!

    I don't ever want to test out being buried alive!

    And great conversation with your mom :)

  6. I love the movie "Speed" because it is so awesomely bad. The best time I ever had watching was on a bus.

    The conversation at the end is truly the best one ever.


Please validate me.