Tuesday, November 29, 2016

We’re So Proud

Thanksgiving…wasn’t terrible? I guess it’s all being saved up for Christmas. Ugh, Christmas is coming.

But I did see my cousins, who are pretty cool. One of them showed me a sketch she did as a part of her project for her senior year of college, where she plays the "fun cop".



Her mother thought it was particularly hilarious, and makes up about a third of those views there. She might be a little biased, but I still really enjoyed it. Fun fact: every parent in the room said that better not be real coke, to which she reminded them she couldn’t afford it.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Thanksgiving Spam 3

I’m sure I’m still exhausted from Thanksgiving. You know the drill.

Well, I can’t argue with the fact that my blog is quality writing.

Damn it, I don’t have a province. I was this close to getting five million dollars!

I really hope you’re doing something about your kid’s gym teacher being a pedophile because seriously, what the hell.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Thanksgiving Spam 2

Today is Thanksgiving here and I still don’t feel like working! So spam.

That must have been one hell of a background check because I didn’t know I had a daughter.

Not really sure what this one is trying to say. I’d really like to know what “proper drainage” means in regards to blogging.


I’d kind of like to know why and how this person knows that brain washing is faster.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Thanksgiving Spam 1

It’s Thanksgiving week in the US and I don’t feel like working! So here’s some spam, from way back when I first started the Spamfiles!

One of my very first posts! The answer to this query is still “By conning people into thinking they can make $94,218 blogging”.

Uh-oh, you guys shouldn’t be looking at this! It’s legally privileged!

…You come into my house and this is how you speak to me? What did I do to deserve this disrespect?

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Complications

My mom is usually in charge of the day before Thanksgiving baking, but for the first time that I remember, she has to work that day. So obviously she expects me to come over and do it, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…



I should not be put in charge of sweets.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Language of Confusion: Ports, Part III

Okay, let’s look at words that use port as a suffix, shall we? This shouldn’t take too long, right?

Report first showed up in the late fourteenth century as a verb then a noun. Now, it has lots of meanings these days, from the results of something to an assignment and also…a loud noise. Um, no, I don’t know why. But all those definitions didn’t come until the sixteenth to nineteenth centuries. Before that, it just meant something you told to someone. The noun comes from the Old French report while the verb is from reporter, which in turn comes from the classical Latin reportare, to (figuratively) carry back…like you would with news, I suppose. The re- is the back part, while portare, as we learned two weeks ago when looking at portal, literally means carry. So basically, carry back went from literal to figurative, and from there to even more crazy definitions.

If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering if rapport is related to report. And it is! But not as much as you might think. It showed up in the seventeenth century from the French (Modern French, that is) rapport/rapporter, which actually means report. The r comes from re- and means again and the apporter means to bring. Apportare comes from Latin, where it means bring and is actually a combo word itself! The a comes from ad-, to, and the rest is portare, which as we all know means carry. To carry back to…I guess that’s a good way to describe having a rapport with someone.

Next we’re looking at import, and related to it, important. Import showed up first in the early fifteenth century while important showed up a little later in the mid sixteenth century. These days, import is more commonly used to describe goods imported from elsewhere, but originally it was closer to important in definition. Which is funny since it comes from the classical Latin importare, which means bring in from abroad (I guess they used it to mean something else and then started using the original definition anyway). Importare is a mix of the prefix in-, into, and portare, carry. So, carry into. Makes sense, at least for the imported goods definition. Important is mostly the same, but it actually came to us by way of the Middle French important and Medieval Latin importantem, which does have the significant definition. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s where import got its other definition, although who knows who gave it that in the first place.

Since we did import, you’re probably wondering about export, too. It showed up in the early seventeenth century meaning carrying something out. It comes from the classical Latin exportare, export, which is a combination of ex-, away, and portare. Carry away. No big surprises here.

And…wow, this post is getting long and I have a lot of words left. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this is going to have to go into an unprecedented fourth week. And of course next week is Thanksgiving, which means I’m going to be super busy and throwing up filler posts so you’ll have to wait until the week after that for the thrilling conclusion.

Sources

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Actually Writing

You know, instead of Still Writing (for the definition of still that means stopped :P). I’ve been doing actual writing! Not editing old drafts, not fragments of ideas. Writing! And it’s pretty awesome.

I really, really like this story. Of course, if you’re writing something you don’t like, you’re doing it wrong. But still! I can’t remember the last time I felt so positively about an idea. And it hasn’t gone away in like ten seconds.

I haven’t been able to write as much as I’d like because of reasons, but it’s a start, and I’m hoping to get back to it soon. Barring any more unforeseen catastrophes. Which 2016 has made abundantly clear is going to happen a lot.

But there’s something good going on at least. Anyway, next week is Thanksgiving here (which, historically, has definitely been a source of catastrophes...ugh!), so I’m not going to be around as much. I think I’m going to do a week of Spamfiles posts.

I can sense your excitement from here.