Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Just Turn Left

Because I don’t have any better ideas, here’s what happened last year while I was out with my mom. She was driving (of course, she never lets me drive) and it was dark and we were about four miles from the house I grew up in, the one she’s lived in for more than thirty years.

We were on a two-lane highway, but one of the lanes was blocked off while workers ripped up the asphalt. Traffic was backed way up and we’d end up sitting there forever if we didn’t turn off. So we did. And this was the result.

Her: I have no idea where I am.

Me: I think you should head left here.

She heads right.

Me: …

Her: All these roads look the same.

Me: At the next intersection, I’m telling you, go left.

Her: I think we should go right. But to compromise, I’ll go straight instead.

Me: …

Finally, we reach another intersection, with only two directions.

Me: We should go left here. That will lead us towards the grocery store and…

She goes right.

Me: …Why?

Her: We don’t want to go to the grocery store. We want to go to the house.

Me: But if we went that way, then we could have taken another left and we’d be heading towards the house.

Her: Hey, look at all these cars heading towards us. We must be near the highway.

And we were. Right back where we first turned off. We sat in traffic until we finally passed the roadwork.


  1. Literally in a circle. Turning the wrong way the whole time. And I thought I had a poor sense of direction.

  2. I would've been coming unglued at that point. I can find an alternate route to anything without a problem. You could dump me anywhere in NC and in five minutes I'd find my way out.

  3. Does she have no sense of direction? Because, this makes no sense to me, especially in a town you know. I mean, I could not get lost in a town I know, nor could any in my family. But people are different.

  4. Your mother is classic! But some people just don't have any sense of direction at all.

  5. Your mother must be like Marcus Brody of the Indy films, as he once got lost in his own museum.


Please validate me.