---Facebook was the most searched for item on Wikipedia in 2012 (at least in English). Number 2? WIKI.
---That’s some meta sh!t right there.
---Actual newspaper headline: “Ride inside inflatable ball on ski slope turns deadly”. In other news, water is wet, heat is hot, and the law of gravity is still in effect.
---This is a particular species of caterpillar’s butt.
---The word “jeep” was invented by Popeye the sailor. It became a vehicle type years after it was a magical animal in the Popeye-verse.
---The most common phrases in fraud emails are things like “cover up” “nobody will find out” and “illegal”. With words like that, how the hell do these scams work?
---“Snake on a plane fails to survive”. Samuel L. Jackson: “You’re welcome.”
---You catch more flies with balsamic vinegar than honey.
---I hear/read “uncouth” all the time, but when was the last time you saw something being couth?
---“Penguins are efficient killers”. If you’re hiring a hitman, I suppose it’s good to know.
---Wait, so hitman isn’t in the dictionary, but “hetman” is? What the hell does that even mean?
---According to Dictionary.com: “the title assumed by the chief of Ukrainian Cossacks of the Dnieper River region, with headquarters at Zaporozhe.” Thank you, Microsoft Word, for having all the important words in your dictionary.
---You might be wondering why I make hitman one word instead of two. Well, short answer, I play way too many video games.
---Or should I call them “hitpeople”?
All the snow reminded me of a story which basically illustrates the reason my mom let me get my driver’s license at 16:
Her [waking me up]: The snow plows are coming. We need to move my car.
Me: Okay. What do you need me to do?
Her [beat]: Move my car.