---Yay! It’s strawberry season!
---Oh, adverbs. Get the hell out of my MS. And take the –ing words with you.
---Granted, there are occasions for them. But not as many as I have adverbs.
---“Pleonasm is the use of redundant, unnecessary words to express an idea!” Have I told you I’ve been reading Dinosaur Comics lately? ‘Cause it’s all kinds of awesome. To wit: Ryan North has managed to use the same six panels almost every day for nine years and still be interesting and creative. That’s some five star writing ability right there.
---Apparently, it’s not only society who has a prejudice against left-handed people. It’s nature, too. Higher incidences of mental disease and they get sick more often. Poor lefties do not get a break.
---Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for stiff penalties for drunk driving. But…45 years? Okay Texas. We get it. You’re the toughest.
---Are weaksauce and awesomesauce in the dictionary yet? Because they need to be. You know. Instead of stupid frigging ginormous.
---If I had a mortal enemy, it would be the word ginormous. Also NBC.
---They know why.
---“Ooh, I really don’t want to miss this seven hour concert, honey.”
“Me either. But we have this baby. Should we get a sitter?”
“Nah. We’ll park in the shade and lock him in the trunk. He’ll be fine.”
---While not worse than having no bandages at all, band aids aren’t very good at what they’re supposed to do, namely keeping the wound moist (uh oh, I used it…you know it’s got to be gross).
---Scientists finally figured out why Guinness bubbles fall instead of rise. Also, they cured all forms of cancer. What? They didn’t? Cancer’s still out there? AIDS too? Heart disease, diabetes? Sorry. I must’ve assumed.