Misspellings That Drive Me Into A Rage

Last post of the year! I hope you’re not going anywhere tonight. I’d rather you not get sick and die.
 
All right, so the stupid thing I’ll be looking at this year is the errors I keep seeing that drive me nuts for no good reason. Obviously I don’t see any of you guys do them, but I do see them other places. Sometimes it’s teenagers making the mistake, but I’ve also seen people 40+ do these and I just. Don’t get it.
 
Que
Que, when it’s supposed to be cue (and no, they aren’t trying to say queue). I’ve seen people go “right on que” and it’s like really? You think that’s a Q? Why??? Now, I don’t see this terribly often, but the fact that it’s popped up more than once is just like what the hell. When have you ever seen “que” and it not be someone asking “What?” in Spanish?
 
Dissapoint
Ugh, this one grates against my nerves. Two S’s, one P. Really, I’m being a bit hypocritical here considering how often I spell words with the wrong number of letters, but come on. It’s dis-appoint not dis-sapoint. You know what an appointment is, right? Then you should know what a disappointment is! Because it’s spelling disappointment with two S’s.
 
Payed
I keep seeing this one and I don’t get it. Sure, pay is an irregular verb in that it’s spelled “paid”, and somehow payed really is a word—it’s a nautical term meaning to coat or cover with pitch. Frankly, I’m annoyed payed isn’t flagged as incorrect by spellcheckers. How many people are going to be using it for its actual definition? None! And I just keep seeing people saying they got payed on Friday. No you didn’t, damn it!
 
Loose
Now we’re veering into grammatically wrong instead of a misspelling, but I’m so sick of people writing loose when they mean lose. I want to go over to their houses and flick their ears every time they use it wrong. But we’re in a pandemic so I shouldn’t do that.
 
XXX$
This one might be just something that bothers me, but I can’t stand it when people put the dollar sign after the number instead of before. I don’t get why it drives me crazy. Technically, it’s supposed to be said “twenty dollars” so 20$ actually makes more sense. But I hate seeing it. Just looking at that dollar sign at the end of the number makes me want to gouge my eyes out. The chief perpetrator of this sin? My mother. I may have to block her from texting me until she gets it right.
 
There. You’ve seen my ridiculous pet peeves. What misspellings/misuses drive you crazy?

Words I Will Never Know How to Spell

It’s the last Thursday of the year, and as always I’m looking at words in a slightly different fashion. This year: words that I will never know how to spell. Come on, it’s in the post title.

Connoisseur

Heads up: having French genes does not make you able to spell French words (I guess linguistics can’t be passed down that way). Also, why the hell is this word so freaking hard to get right?! Seriously, what is with French and letters? “Let’s throw an O in there!” “Shall we pronounce it?” “No, what are you, crazy?”

Miscellaneous

I think it’s the S and the C in this one that really screw me up. This is why I hate the letter C. It’s so pointless. It’s designed to make you not know how to use it. Is it pronounced? Silent? A K sound? An S? A ch?

Twelfth

I suppose that this might be embarrassing to admit, but I always forget either the L or the F. It’s all those consonants in a row! Sometimes it seems like the F isn’t even vocalized, and I know there’s a linguistic word for that although I can’t think of it off the top of my head and don’t feel like looking it up.

Cemetery

I am just always convinced there’s an A in there somewhere. Secretary uses the same vowel pronunciations but has an A in the end. Why not cemetary? I mean cemetery. I just did it again. Not making this up. I totally spelled it wrong in my post about spelling it wrong as I’m looking at the correct spelling of the word.

Millennium

I never remember that there are two N’s. Or sometimes I spell it with the two N’s, but only one L. I will never, ever get it right on the first try unless I look it up.

So that’s all I can think of, but what about you? What words do you never get right?

Words That Make Me Irrationally Angry

Last word post of the year! So you’re going to hear me complain about words that bug me. In ascending order from “Meh” to “Sorry I keep stabbing you but you keep using that word.”

1. Pleaded

This isn’t one hundred percent of the time, and really it only bugs me that pled exists and no one uses it. I like pled. The person pled guilty to the crime. They pled for their life. Why do we need pleaded? Why does this bug me so much?

2. Numerals instead of spelling out numbers

I can’t remember what I was reading, just that it began a sentence with a 2 and I was like, no, that will not do. I tend to spell out numbers most of the time, but I usually don’t mind when people use numerals in their writing. Still, sometimes I see it and I just dislike the look of it, especially when it’s a smaller number. Like, just type out seven. It’s not that many more clicks.

3. Alright

While this one won’t send me into a rage, I just don’t like it. Every time I look at it I go “Ugh!” It’s literally displeasing to my eye, the same as seeing someone wearing socks with sandals or fanny packs. Yes, I know there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. I use already and altogether all the time. But alright…it’s one bridge too far.

4. Till as short for until

Til I can tolerate, and ‘til is perfectly acceptable. But damn it, till is what you do with soil and I won’t hear otherwise.

5. Guesstimate

The fact that this word isn’t showing up with a red jagged line under it in Word is sending me into a blinding rage. I may kill someone because of it and damn it, that won’t be on my conscious. Using it around me is taking your life in your hands. Guess and estimate are perfectly capable of doing the job!!!

Any words/usages that drive you crazy?

Vocab Test

Several months ago I came across a vocabulary test that I thought was fun but then I saw it on two other blogs before I could post it so I decided to wait a while. And now that it’s almost the end of the year and I can’t think of anything else, here it is!

The rules are pretty basic. You pick a language and then it shows you a word, and you pick from a set of four either the synonym or antonym of the word. It’s easy at first, but as it goes on, it starts throwing more and more obscure words at you. I tried to break them down and piece them together from the roots I’ve learned over years of etymology posts. Of course, considering how weird some of those etymologies are, I could have gotten them completely backwards.

Still, I did pretty well, getting in the 0.01th percentile, with a vocabulary of 30325. Big surprise, right? The reader/writer did super well! Shocking! I’m not actually sure how it was ranked. I guess that’s supposed to be 30325 words. It’s not exactly a scientific test :P.

How’s your vocabulary? Did you do well on the test? Any words that you had never heard of before?

Words

It’s the last day of the year! And it’s an etymology day! So let’s have some fun by looking at words that sound dirty but really aren’t.

1. Tittle actually is the word for the dot above lowercase i’s and j’s.

2. Interrobang is just the word for !? or ?!. It just sounds dirty because of the “bang”.

3. Ligatures are two or three letters joined together, like æ, as well as what you tie someone’s hands with when you lock them in your basement.

4. Genericide isn’t the killing of generals. It’s the word for using a brand name as a generic name for an item, like how we usually call them thermoses when they’re really insulated containers. Why it has the suffix associated with killing a human, I don’t know.

Is there any word out there that you’ve always thought sounded dirty even if it wasn’t? And what are you doing for New Year’s Eve?

Dialects

I came across this neat dialect quiz on Tumblr. It’s supposed to pinpoint where you’re from based on certain words you use.

This is mine, and yeah, I have to say, it’s pretty damn accurate. I guess that’s what happens when you come from the only state that uses the words “grinder” and “bubbler” to refer to sub sandwiches and water fountains. But I’m curious to know what it says about you guys. Where does your dialect say you’re from?

Easy to Confuse

Easily confused words this week! Because I’ve been busy and don’t have time to do all the research for the Language of Confusion.

Hoard/horde

Did someone mention this one to me? If so, I forgot to note it down, sorry :P. Anyway, hoard and horde, which would make good words to etymologize. As far as I know, horde (a crowd) can only be a noun, while hoard (store or stockpile) can be a noun and a verb. Just remember: zombies come in hordes. Both end in e. Well, technically e-s, but that’s only because they’re plural.

Lose/loose

I know I saw this one somewhere and it made me want to reach through the internet and shake whoever did it. These ones aren’t even homophones! Lose is the opposite of win, loose is the opposite of tight. Now if I could only get everyone on the internet to read this post.

Incite/Intice(Entice)

Okay, this one is just something I do all the time. I always, always write entice with an i, and then it autocorrects to incite, which is an actual word, unlike intice. I have no idea why I do this. I suppose I should be more forgiving of people who screw up lose and loose…

Breath/breathe

This is another one I see all the time. Both refer to air going in and out of the lungs, but one is a noun, the other is the verb. People forget the e, not knowing how important it is. It’s so magical that it changes the “ea” from sounding like “eh” to sounding like “ee”. I guess it’s linguistomancy.

Bare/bear

And finally we have another word that I will mix up if I don’t stop to think about it. Bare is the more narrow word, referring to things that are empty or exposed. Bear can be an animal, or a verb for withstanding/carrying and several other applications. Basically, I usually want bear.

Do you have any words that you mix up or always get wrong? What do you do to keep words straight when you’re writing?

Easy to Confuse

As I am rather time-crunched right now and want to do something easy, here are more words that are easy to confuse.

Wander/wonder

I can’t remember where I saw these confused, but I know I did stop to yell at the whatever I was reading (I want to say something on the internet, so maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised). To whoever it was who erred: wander is to meander, to drift. Wonder is thinking, marveling at how someone could mistake the two words (like I should be one to judge :P).

Board/bored/boarder/border

Darn homophones. It took years for me to remember how to distinguish the two. Bored can be shortened to bore, but board can’t be shortened to boar. Well, it can, but I’m pretty sure boars and boards aren’t related. The boarder/border thing is even more confusing! I wonder why board- plus -er equals a renter? I’m sure there’s some weird explanation for it. I’ll have to etymologize it sometime. As to how to tell them apart…okay, I admit, I have to double check to make sure I’m using them right.

Wring/ring

The w is important! Remember, wring is always a verb. Ring only sometimes is. If you want to talk to someone, you ring them on the phone. Add that w and you’ll end up choking them, and you might not want to do that.

Hay/hey (suggested by Hillary)

I’ve only seen these confused a couple of times, usually people using “hey” as something horses eat. I only wish I was talented enough to draw a horse eating a greeting, because that would be a hilarious way to end this. Anyway, just remember, “hay” goes into the mouth, and “hey” comes out of it.

Heel/heal

The ee and ea digraphs are the worst. Different letters should not sound the same! No wonder it’s easy to try to heel a person of their illness or be unable to walk due to a pain in your heal. I have no good way to keep these separate in my mind. I guess I’m lucky I don’t have to use them much. Any ideas?

PS. This post is number 777, plus I have 77 followers. But I’m still putting up another on Saturday. I hope you appreciate what I do for you.

The Unpronounceable

Sometimes I hate words. Not writing them—that I kind of like. Saying them. Pronouncing them, to be specific. As someone who has spent the past three years reading different etymologies, I get that spellings are created more by history than common sense (I’m looking at you, silent letters). But sometimes it’s just ridiculous.

Gauge

An A and a U. Seems like it would be pronounced like it is in applaud or haunt. But no. It’s like the U isn’t even there. It took me until high school to figure out that it was supposed to be pronounced like the end of engage. I still say it the other way in my head, though.

Hearth

It’s supposed to be Har with a Th at the end, not a Earth with an H up front. Frankly, I blame this one entirely on the ea digraph. It has way too many pronunciations to be reasonable.

Flaccid

I always pronounced this “flassid”. I never even thought about how if you drop the Fl and put ent at the end, you get the word accident, which I always say “aksident”. But pronouncing it “flaksid” sounds weird to me. Thankfully, the pronunciation is acceptable either way, so I’m sticking with flassid.

Salve

What does the middle letter look like to you? Because to me, it looks like an l, which means it has an L sound. But nooooo. It’s silent, lah-dee-frickin-dah. The British, showing great common sense, do pronounce it “sahlve”, however Americans say “sahve”. I’m going to have to either get people to start saying it with an L or move to England because this is unacceptable.

Informal poll time: How do you pronounce flaccid? How do you pronounce salve (and what country are you from)? Are there any words that have spellings and pronunciations you can’t reconcile? Answer in the comments.

I’m Still Finding Words That Are Easy to Confuse

Sigh. Melissa is taking a blogging break. I so loved Grammar Police Mondays. Really. I’m not even exaggerating. If it’s about words and word usage, I will love it.

Anyway, with her off being with her family because I suppose that’s more important than us, here’s another set of easily confused words and how not to confuse them.

Mariticide is the killing of your husband. Matricide is the killing of your mother. You don’t want to mix those up. The consequences would be terrible. Remember, killing your mom is just killing your dad with an m instead of a p.

Chord/cord, suggested by Kate Larkendale way back during my last Confused Words post. I know Latin liked to distinguish words of Greek origin by using ch for the hard k sound, but do we still have to do it in English? It’s been like fifteen hundred years. It seems like we can let it go. But if people insist upon using it, remember that cord is either wood or a rope/cable, while chord has to do with music. Or a bunch of esoteric meanings in geometry, engineering and aeronautics.

Current/currant

I had to write current for something and I spelled it with an a because I do that with words a lot (any word that ends with -ent or -ant, I WILL spell it with the wrong vowel every freaking time). A red, squiggly line didn’t pop up underneath. Turns out currant is a real word, a type of raisin. I had no idea that it was a real word. Or that there were types of raisins.

Creek/creak

Another word I have to mention because I mix it up. A creek is a body of water, while a creak is a noise. I don’t know of an easy way to tell them apart. You just have to remember that double e is water and e-a is sound.

Route/root/rout

This one is super annoying because root is always root (pronounced so it rhymes with boot), rout is always rout (pronounced so it’s out with an r in front), but route can be pronounced root or rout. It’s like they were designed for the specific purpose of sowing confusion. Just don’t forget that e when you mean a road/path, otherwise you’re writing about something completely different.

So this is the last word/etymology post of the year : ). I hope you loved them as much as I did!

…You didn’t love them as much as I did. Well, tough. I’m never going to stop.

Yet More Words that are Easy to Confuse

Yes, this again. Honestly, almost half of this list is from Liz’s suggestions. Looking at these, I have to say that English would make a lot more sense if there were not so many homophones (or, English wood make allot moor cense if their whir knot sew many homophones).

Casualty/causality

These words aren’t homophones, but they’re spellings are close enough that it’s easy to type the wrong thing. Casualty is death…which isn’t very casual, now that I think about it. Causality on the other hand is from cause, like cause and effect.

Latter/ladder/later

I hate that every time I write about a ladder, I have to pause and which one is the thing you climb on. Latter is the second thing—that’s literally the definition, the second of two objects. It should be easy to remember because it sounds like later, which is always a time period, but I still have to think about it.

Roll/Role

I can understand the confusion of this one. Roll can mean both a piece of bread, anything coiled up, or cyclical motion while role is a part/function (etymologically, role comes from roll, so that’s why they sound alike). The easiest way to tell them apart is to remember that role is abstract, like you play a role in a movie or have a role in society. Anything else is roll.

Principle/principal

Anyone else think of that silly “the principal is your pal (get it?!).” saying anytime they hear this? No? Just me then? Unfortunately, it doesn’t help much when you’re trying to construct a sentence about an important subject and you write that it’s “principle”. You just have to keep in mind that principle is always something like a law, while principal means highest. Oh, and the phrases are always “in/on principle”.

Birth/berth

Have I written about these before? Whatever. I’m too lazy to go check. Anyway, birth always has to do with having a child or producing something new. Berth is either a sleeping space or a place for a vessel to rest (I guess a ship’s sleeping space). And if you’re trying to avoid something, you give it a wide berth. Remember: berth means space.

Random Thoughts

---Facebook was the most searched for item on Wikipedia in 2012 (at least in English). Number 2? WIKI.

---That’s some meta sh!t right there.

---Actual newspaper headline: “Ride inside inflatable ball on ski slope turns deadly”. In other news, water is wet, heat is hot, and the law of gravity is still in effect.

---This is a particular species of caterpillar’s butt.

---The word “jeep” was invented by Popeye the sailor. It became a vehicle type years after it was a magical animal in the Popeye-verse.

---The most common phrases in fraud emails are things like “cover up” “nobody will find out” and “illegal”. With words like that, how the hell do these scams work?

---“Snake on a plane fails to survive”. Samuel L. Jackson: “You’re welcome.”

---You catch more flies with balsamic vinegar than honey.

---I hear/read “uncouth” all the time, but when was the last time you saw something being couth?

---“Penguins are efficient killers”. If you’re hiring a hitman, I suppose it’s good to know.

---Wait, so hitman isn’t in the dictionary, but “hetman” is? What the hell does that even mean?

---According to Dictionary.com: “the title assumed by the chief of Ukrainian Cossacks of the Dnieper River region, with headquarters at Zaporozhe.” Thank you, Microsoft Word, for having all the important words in your dictionary.

---You might be wondering why I make hitman one word instead of two. Well, short answer, I play way too many video games.

---Or should I call them “hitpeople”?

All the snow reminded me of a story which basically illustrates the reason my mom let me get my driver’s license at 16:

Her [waking me up]: The snow plows are coming. We need to move my car.

Me: Okay. What do you need me to do?

Her [beat]: Move my car.

The Hunt

The Word Hunt, to be specific.

Like all writers, I tend to over use certain words. Often when I’m reading over my WIPs, a certain word pulls me out of the story, and I bet if it happens to me it would happen to a reader. I make a list of these words (currently at a hundred) and I use Word’s Find function to track them down for a second look. They’re either too vague (thing, stuff), easy to overuse (just, that) or I just keep seeing them and they bug me (flush, face). Plus there’s also general words (have, be) that I have to make sure work.

1. Strong words are great!

2. But don’t overuse them. Not every word needs necessitates needs to be strong. If it crystalizes a sentence, yay! Keep it. But if it’s clunky, out of voice, or just there because you don’t want a weaker word, don’t bother.

3. Don’t eliminate a word if you’re replacing it with a syllable that’s another common word. For example, don’t replace “might” with “could” or “large” with “huge”. It defeats the whole purpose of the word hunt.

4. You might find you’ve over used a very general verb like give, have, or is. There’s really not much you can do about that except look at the sentences as a whole and decide whether the entire thing is weak. If so, rewrite it.

5. Find the words you love using and get rid of as many as you can. As I’ve said many times before (and as you’ve probably read elsewhere), that and just are some of the worst offenders. But by no means are they the only ones. Every writer (from a poll of me) has a few words s/he uses more than necessary.

Now if I could only get myself to follow these rules…

Further Words that are Easy to Confuse

It’s been too long since I’ve done this. I don’t know how there aren’t more words that confuse me.

Sheer/shear

I’m terrible with these words. Sheer has a ridiculous variety of meanings. It can mean transparent, pure, utter, steep, and in reference to ships, swerve. On the other hand, shear always means something to do with cutting, like shear a sheep or another word for scissors. But it’s hard to tell them apart! I try to remember that shear always goes with sheep, which reminds me that it has to do with shaving. And anything else gets sheer.

Elicit/illicit

Words with similar sounds but completely different meanings are the bane of my existence. Illicit means illegal, and it’s easy to remember if you remind yourself they both start with “ill”. Elicit is a synonym for evoke. Again, both start with e’s. Why are they so close in spelling? Well, it’s all about the prefixes. The ex- prefix often loses the x (think of emigration or the above mentioned evoke) and for the in- prefix loses the n and picks up an l in front of words that start with l (like licit and legal) [http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=in-&allowed_in_frame=0]. And also because languages are confusing.

Personal/personnel

This one I’ve come across once or twice. I’ve also made the error myself a few times, but that’s more because personnel is one of those words that for some reason I can’t spell for the life of me (I always do one n and two l’s…really). The definition of personal is between you and me. The definition of personnel is a group of employees. Although “a personal” seems like a good name for a group of psychologists.

Breech/breach

I’m mentioning this one because I totally mixed them up in one of my WIPs, and if you know the definitions, that’s kind of an issue. For those who don’t know (like the me from last week), breech means the rear part of anything, but more specifically humans. It means butt, is what I’m saying. And I used it when I needed to say breach, as in rupture. I tell you, “breeching the gate” makes for some awkward visuals.

Plumb/plum

Just brought up because it’s bit of a problem to read “plum the depths of my soul”. Plum means only one thing:

I plummed my soul once. Turned the entire thing into fruit.

It’s a fruit, for always and ever. If you’re talking about measuring the depth of water (or the human soul), perpendicular or vertical, or complete (in a colloquial sense), then stick that b on there.

Random Thoughts

---It’s that time yet again.

---If I burn down the world, there won’t be any more spiders. If there’s a downside, I don’t see it.

---“Interrobang” is my current favorite word.

---For the record, it means ?! or !?. Unfortunately, it’s not considered standard for novels, because apparently no one is allowed to do anything fun ever.

---Screw you, Microsoft Word! If “interrobang” isn’t in the dictionary, it’s your problem!

---“NBC has defended its decision to interview a reality TV star instead of observing a moment of silence marking the 11th anniversary of 9/11.” And that defense is: “We cater to our audience. Since no one actually watches our network, that means more Kardashians.”

---Yes, I make fun of NBC a lot. Well, I’ll stop when they stop making it so easy.

---I hate words like disaster that, when you add the suffix –rous, turn into “disastrous”. There should be an e there, dangit.

---Cashews grow on apples. Just so you know.

---Last night I had a horrible dream: the presidential election was postponed for two weeks. Woke up screaming.

---For the record, a flashing yellow light means slow down, proceed with caution, not come to a complete stop for ten seconds to annoy the driver behind you.

---This is why I avoid driving as much as possible.

---“Windows Explorer 8…Not as bad as you’d think!” Somehow I’d be more impressed if the statement didn’t have the little “advertisement” border around it. Also goes to show you how little they think of their own product.

---“Immurement” is entombing someone alive within a structure. For future reference.

---I’m not planning anything.

---Yet.

---In writing, men tend to use pronouns slightly more than women. Also, women use more adjectives. I know that’s true for me.

---I was with my mom while she was watching “Dancing With the ‘Stars’” and I have to say, it’s a lot more tolerable if you pretend it’s the Hunger Games.

And to complete this issue of Random Thoughts, here’s another conversation between me and my mother, taking place after I helped her move a bunch of china around:

Me: Do you need anything else?

Her: Nope.

Me: Am I going to get in the other room and sit down and you’ll call me for something else?

Her: That’s very likely.

Word Search

No, not the kind where you circle words mixed in with a jumble of letters. I mean actually searching your manuscript for problem words and phrases.

I’ve mentioned a few times that I have a list of words I scour my work for using Word’s find function. A lot of them are pretty common sentence fillers: just, only, every, probably, since, and that are the worst offenders, but by no means the only ones. It’s also wise to scour for words like feel, think and see (or felt, thought and saw for you past-tense writers) since they tend to pull the reader out of the book. As in, “I feel hurt” puts distance between the reader and the character whereas “I’m hurt” does not. But I digress.

There are other words you want to watch out for, the ones that you have a particular fondness for and often don’t realize you use. These are more specific, the words that sound right to you but will become repetitive for readers. Imagine reading “she appeared” every time a character enters the room. If you start noticing it, wham! Out of the book. Unfortunately, you might have to wait for a beta reader to say “You use ‘of course’ a lot” before figuring it out. For example, besides “of course”, I found quite a few instances of “flush” in my book. It’s one of those words that can be used once or twice a book without incident but more than three or four and readers start to go “does this girl’s face ever stay normal?” Again, not good.

So there are many reasons to word search your MS. I suggest waiting until after major rewrites are complete before doing a word search. There’s no point in clearing out useless words if a new chapter’s just going to need it done again.

And for the record these are my words: still, there, though, although, before, after, once, at least, of course, appear, then, while, almost, even, what, start, begin, begins, good, how, just, only, every, can, well, probably, that, since, as, like, so, some, when, seem, been, could, would, should, I, we, ’re, n’t, ’s, ’d, ’ve, be, is, are, am, I’m, was, were, we’re, keep, kept, got, get, had, has, felt, feel, think, thought, try, tried, tries, may, might, grew, grow, look, found, find, knew, know, become, became, smell, stupid, sense, hear, come, came, go, goes, went, taste, see, saw, watch, believe, flush, area, smile, cry, cries, cried, tear, sob, sobbed, wonder, time, pop, face, flash, thing, almost, if, finally, barely

And this doesn’t even include my adverb search.

What about you? Any words you especially overuse? How do you deal with problem words?