Random Thoughts

---Things that happen to me. I see an interesting fact. I go, “This would make a great random thought!” I think it’s too much trouble to write it down, so I’ll just “remember” it. I immediately forget it.

---For some reason, I can no longer directly copy urls out of my Google Chrome address bar. It’s been this way ever since the lamentable crash, though I had no trouble with it before that and have no trouble copying out of Firefox. I’ve been on a million websites looking for solutions, and so far, zilch. Apparently this is an issue several people have had over the years, and the only solution I found is NOTHING. It makes doing my etymology posts, which require much copying and pasting, most irritating.

---If you ever hear of some solution to this, please share, because this is driving me crazy. Well, crazier.

---“Bear falls through skylight, eats birthday cupcakes”. That’s what you get for not throwing him a birthday party.

---Plus, there’s also that bear that climbed into someone’s hammock. You sure as hell won’t want to kick him out.

---If you want to give your neighbors’ children a doll as a gift, maybe leaving it on their doorstep with no note like some sort of doppelganger isn’t the best way to go. Just saying, it’s a little creepy.

---Ever see a television commercial and think that somewhere out there, there’s a woman who admitted to needing adult diapers on national television?

---The things that I ponder.

---I’m glad I’m not an actor. If I was, I’d definitely be doing adult diaper commercials.

---Apparently people who can’t understand sarcasm are more likely to suffer dementia. What about people who exclusively use sarcasm? Do we develop some kind of super resistance to it?

---“Humans can fly! Wingsuits on YouTube.” Annnnnnd ignore.

---“Over 90% Of Human DNA May Be Completely Worthless”. Do with this what you will, fellow sci-fi writers.

---Man, are these the only random thoughts I could come up with? I really need to start noting down more of the things I stumble across. This is getting embarrassing.

Random Thoughts

---It snows metal on Venus. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky.

---The Welsh word for microwave is “popty ping”. You’re welcome.

---Fluoroantimonic acid can eat through glass. It’s pH is a negative 31.8. It can only be stored in a Teflon container. But I bet it would melt a body. You know. FYI.

---The largest bacteria is called Thiomargarita namibiensis. It’s one milimeter in length, which doesn’t sound like much, but unlike most bacteria, it’s visible to the naked eye. It lives in the ocean off Namibia (hence the name). Imagine yourself swimming out there. And you see something. It looks like short strands of hair. But it’s not. It’s bacteria.

---If parents don’t pay their kids’ school lunch bills, I don’t think the solution should be to take the lunches from the kids and throw them away.

---“A man accused of taking a commercial ferry from the Seattle waterfront is due in court Monday afternoon.” A) why would anyone steal a ferry, B) what are you going to do with it?

---Hydrox cookies were invented before Oreos.

---“EXTRATERRESTRIAL INVADERS crash into Earth’s South Pole”. Sounds interesting, right? Here’s the first line: “Scientists at the South Pole have detected a collection of neutrinos from outer space that could help explain the origins of the universe.” Yeah, that headline’s not misleading or anything.

---More people have access to cell phones than toilets. In all fairness, it’s a lot easier to go to the bathroom outside than it is to make a call on a tree.

---Actual thesaurus suggestion for the word ‘flattened’: poleaxed. It would be totally inappropriate for what I was trying to say in my book, but I so wish it wasn’t.

Random Thoughts

---After almost a week of being down, Who.Unfollowed.Me is back. Now I can’t track down all the the jerks who unfollowed me on Twitter.

---You know who you are.

---“Herpes Study Confirms That Human Migration Spread Out From Africa.” Did you ever get the feeling that the world is completely surreal?

---“Murder Victim’s Family Told To Remove [Spongebob Squarepants] Headstones.” Well, that answers that question.

---The Western Black Rhino is extinct : (.

---Lift your right foot off the ground. Move it clockwise. Try making a counterclockwise motion with your right hand. Your foot will start moving counterclockwise. It can’t not do that. Your brain is unable to make the same side of your body move in different directions at the same time.

---“US Judge tells man he’s still legally dead”. This is it, people. Zombie apocalypse. Get your guns and canned beans.

---Two Rabbis had some thugs kidnap and beat up husbands who refused to allow their wives permission to divorce them. A sexist as hell system, yes, but I’m more concerned that it was also a plot in an episode of The Sopranos. I think real life has run out of bad ideas, so it’s just taking it from television shows now.

---Edgar Allan Poe once made up a hoax and got a newspaper to fall for it. The hoax? That he had been in a machine that flew across the US. Who’s laughing now, Poe?

---Tech tip: if you ever find yourself typing a blog post or a comment and you find that the cursor keeps highlighting things and typing over them, hit the Insert key and it will go back to normal. You don’t want to know how long it took me to figure that out. Seriously, it’s embarrassing.

---Why is there even an Insert key if not to screw us up when we miss the Delete key? WHY DO YOU HATE US, COMPUTER MAKERS?

---Diamonds don’t actually come from coal.

---Three and a half million people still pay for AOL. Commence laughing…now!

---The longest piece of literature in the world is a fan fic for the video game Super Smash Bros. It’s over four million words long. Writers, do you ever feel like your life is meaningless?

Random Thoughts

---Dolphins might have better memories than elephants. I think this means we have to change that old saying.

---Hawaii is moving towards Japan at a rate of about four inches a year. Those thieves!

---Quint: to deliberately insult someone who is fishing for a compliment. And my new favorite thing.

---An animal control officer was found with 850 snakes in his apartment. I’m thinking he doesn’t understand the purpose of his job.

---Wait…pasty is a food? I only knew it as…something else.

---I’m surprised there aren’t more sci-fi works with titles that start with a Q. The letter just naturally lends itself to sci-fi, like X and Z.

---“Man fails trying to cross Atlantic via balloon cluster”. No! Really?

---Whenever I get to hoping for humanity, I remember that there are still people out there who think Onion stories are real.

---“For each person, there is a sentence—a series of words—which has the power to destroy them.” Screw quint. THIS is my new favorite thing.

---“Scientists run dinosaur wind-tunnel tests”. They had dinosaurs and didn’t tell us?!!

---“Jon Gosslin threatens photog with gun”. Oh no! I scrolled down too far in my news feed and accidentally got into Entertainment “news”.

---I read a game review that claimed GTA V was ruined by “stubborn violence and sexism”. While the violence and sexism part is completely true, what did this guy expect the game to be about? If you’re going to protest the violence and sexism in GTA, go ahead and do it, but don’t act like that’s not what every GTA game ever has been full of.

---James Blunt was a captain in the British Army. Yes, that James Blunt.

---A guy actually computed what the difference is between a geek and a nerd. Apparently, a geek is someone who likes movies, television shows, and comics while a nerd is someone with interests in science and mathematics. I’m assuming this means the guy who made said computation is a total nerd.

Random Thoughts

---Last post before my vacation! Yay!

---179 people have disappeared on cruises from 2001-2011. So. Keep that in mind.

---Marshmallows stop sore throats!

---Anyone else hate that the mallow in marshmallow is spelled with an a instead of an e? No one? Just me then?

---Today’s I-can’t-believe-it headline: Fight erupts between parents at kindergarten graduation. Apparently it started between teenagers, but the parents decided they had to get in on that action.

---No article should ever start “In honor of Geraldo Rivera’s nude selfie…”

---The World Toilet Organization is an actual thing. I’m sure they do good works promoting sanitation, but no one will ever be able to look at that name and not laugh.

---Shel Silverstein worked for Playboy! For forty years!

---“Don’t forget to back up your PC before trying Windows 8.1”. I know they said that because it’s a beta and you should always backup before downloading something still in the testing stage, but I can’t help but believe it’s just because it’s Windows.

---“Yoga in public schools is not religious instruction, judge rules”. I do have to disagree with the judge saying that yoga is akin to other “exercise programs” like dodge ball. No, yoga is nothing like dodge ball. Dodge ball is getting hit in the face with rubber balls for thirty minutes, not exercise.

---People have been naming babies Hashtag, Facebook, and even Like. You can weep for society now.

---Vampire bats adopt orphaned young of other bats (same species I assume, but still, impressive).

---“NY man tried to sell baby on Craigslist”. Apparently he was mad at his girlfriend for not paying him attention and despite being two months old, the baby is less needy than him. The obvious solution for him was to try to sell her baby.

---You might wonder if my Random Thoughts posts are turning into nothing but showcases of disturbing news articles, but the real thing you should be questioning is why I keep finding more links.

Random Thoughts

---I think girls underwater is becoming the new girls in fancy dresses as the new YA cover thing. Although it will be a while before the latter is overtaken.

---Candidate for mother of the year: “A Southeast Texas woman faces a felony charge for allegedly delaying hospital treatment of her teenage son’s gunshot wound until she could research treatment options on the Internet”. Yeah. Gunshot wounds are the kind of thing you want to Google before getting them taken care of.

---“Polk School Bus Driver Staged Fight Between Students”. It might seem like I’ve been posting a lot of newspaper headlines in my Random Thoughts lately, but tell me, could you resist stuff like this?

---Speaking of which: “Texas teacher accused of duct taping student to chair”… a year after another teacher was accused of ordering kindergartners to hit a child. I’m not a mother. I have no desire to be one. Honestly, I’m not big on kids in general. But come on. How do people not get that you can’t treat children like that?!

---Yes, an interrobang is absolutely necessary.

---Actual quote from the teacher-duct tape article: “‘We are talking about human beings and they do make mistakes. Having said that that behavior is not excusable.’”

---There is “mistake”. Then there is “child abuse”. There’s a big difference.

---When Abercombie & Fitch’s CEO touts being exclusionary as part of their business strategy and refuses to make clothes for plus sized women you can’t really be surprised that they won’t make their stores accessible to disabled people.

---Seriously. Those guys are DICKS.

---“Senate defeats bills to keep student loans low”. Of course they did. It’s not like, say, passing a bill to keep airlines in business because everyone in congress flies a lot. I mean, this doesn’t even involve them.

---The preceding bullet points are evidence for the argument that we do not live in the best of all possible universes.

---I have got to stop checking my news feed.

---Actual newspaper headline: “And Xbox One to Rule Them”. I get the reference you’re making, but since the actual quote is “One Ring”, it’s kind of convoluted.

---“Michael Buble Being Stalked By A Velociraptor” is a real blog. And also evidence for the argument that we live in the best of all possible universes.

Random Thoughts

---Facebook was the most searched for item on Wikipedia in 2012 (at least in English). Number 2? WIKI.

---That’s some meta sh!t right there.

---Actual newspaper headline: “Ride inside inflatable ball on ski slope turns deadly”. In other news, water is wet, heat is hot, and the law of gravity is still in effect.

---This is a particular species of caterpillar’s butt.

---The word “jeep” was invented by Popeye the sailor. It became a vehicle type years after it was a magical animal in the Popeye-verse.

---The most common phrases in fraud emails are things like “cover up” “nobody will find out” and “illegal”. With words like that, how the hell do these scams work?

---“Snake on a plane fails to survive”. Samuel L. Jackson: “You’re welcome.”

---You catch more flies with balsamic vinegar than honey.

---I hear/read “uncouth” all the time, but when was the last time you saw something being couth?

---“Penguins are efficient killers”. If you’re hiring a hitman, I suppose it’s good to know.

---Wait, so hitman isn’t in the dictionary, but “hetman” is? What the hell does that even mean?

---According to Dictionary.com: “the title assumed by the chief of Ukrainian Cossacks of the Dnieper River region, with headquarters at Zaporozhe.” Thank you, Microsoft Word, for having all the important words in your dictionary.

---You might be wondering why I make hitman one word instead of two. Well, short answer, I play way too many video games.

---Or should I call them “hitpeople”?

All the snow reminded me of a story which basically illustrates the reason my mom let me get my driver’s license at 16:

Her [waking me up]: The snow plows are coming. We need to move my car.

Me: Okay. What do you need me to do?

Her [beat]: Move my car.

Random Thoughts

---Yeah, another one. I don’t mean to inflict so many on you, but I didn’t do my posts on Saturday and then I got a headache on Sunday. So…

---The world might run out of seafood by 2048. Just a happy thought to start your day

---“Hike up your skirt a little more/show your world to me.” Dave Mathew’s songs touch me in a bad place.

---In your face, Happy Birthday copyright!

---In a completely unrelated note, thank you, Luke Barats.

---Mind twister: calling something unremarkable is remarking on it, thus making it remarkable.

---If your five year old is having problems on the bus, the solution isn’t to beat up another five year old.

---For some reason, I find this comment suspicious: “I always take the time to read this website for its articles or reviews. My website: PORNO!”

---What the hell is a “Channing Tatum”?

---For every person on Earth, there’s one million ants. We should just find a new planet now.

---You got to check out “Scale of the Universe 2” on Newgrounds. Amazing. Seriously, go do it now. I’ll wait.

---See? Look at me waiting.

And now, another transcript of a conversation between me and my mom. It was during the Superbowl (for all you non-Americans, it’s a day to eat chicken wings, drink beer and yell at men on TV who can’t hear you) and since neither one of us is interested in football, the game was only turned on by accident. The Pats were ahead at this time and closing in on the Giants’ goal (before as per usual, getting their asses handed to them in the last minute).

Me: Close score.

Her: If the Giants make the next goal, they’ll tie the game.

Me: Yeah, but they’re closer to their goal right now, so it might not happen.

Her: Well, look. It’s only ten yards away. They could do it.

Me: No, I’m talking about the Giants, not the Patriots.

Her: So am I.

A moment passes, both of us confused at what the other is getting at.

Me: It’s the Giants’ goal.

Her: I know! They could make the point.

Me: No they couldn’t! The teams make points by crossing the other team’s goal!

She pauses, trying to figure it out.

Her: Really? That’s how it works?

Me [crazy by now]: In every game in every sport!

If she wasn’t so honestly unenlightened about football, I’d think she was messing with me just to drive me insane.

Of course, she ended up being right. Not about the goals, but about the Giants making another touchdown and winning the game. Pretty impressive considering the last time the Patriots and the Giants played in the Superbowl, I turned the game on just as the same thing happened.

Apparently, my super power is to decide who wins these games. You’re welcome, New York.

Random Thoughts

---Yes. Again.

---This is what I do when I have no idea what to write. Rather than try to come up with something interesting, I just type random words.

---Give me a break. It’s almost Thanksgiving and I’m busy helping my mom clean the house. Projects include removing the switch plates to clean them.

---If you ignore the “Do Not Enter” sign and go the wrong way on a one way street, don’t stop on a curve and spend five minutes turning around.

---Then again, if you do ignore the sign, you probably don’t have the best judgment anyway.

---There’s a new laser surgery to turn brown eyes blue. No thanks. I think my brown eyes are pretty and will take them over the probable vision damage and dry eyes.

---If you ever get attacked by a shark, rub its nose. Seriously, it works.

---Awesome. I get a new laptop and my TV starts crapping out on me.

---The Halo Effect: When someone who is an authority in one area is listened to even when his/her advice is outside the parameters of his/her expertise.

---Another definition: When someone doesn’t leave the house for three days straight in order to play video games.

---Not that I can experience that. Again, the TV. How I miss TV.

---A live hamster was given to a snake for lunch. The snake decided not to eat the hamster, but hang around with it. The adorable hamster doesn’t seem to realize he’s in danger. He crawls around on the snake like it’s nothing. That’s certainly better than the 16-foot snake that ate a deer.

---I could watch videos of animals all day. I could post more links, but I won’t because then none of us would get anything done.

---Dear Bully is a moving collection of stories where authors recount the bullying they endured growing up. Apparently, we were all bullied.

---My favorite part of thisis “Now I’m forced to hustle for a living as a ‘freelance writer,’ like that’s a thing anymore.” Bizzow!

---What your mother ate when she was pregnant with you influences how the particular food tastes to you. Fact.

---You probably learned in school that there are seven continents. In reality, “continents” is a term so vague that it borders on meaningless.

---The automated telemarketer that just called annoys me less than its incorrect grammar usage does.

---Good night! Or afternoon. Whatever.

Random Thoughts

---I’m doing more of these because people seem to like them. Considering how much I babble on, I’m surprised.

---Mystery of the day: how the heck did I come into possession of a nineteenth century German coin?

---Before you go planning any heists, it’s only fair to warn you that it isn’t worth anything. Unless I destroy every other one left in the world.

---I have the vague formation of an idea, so I suppose I’ll do NaNoWriMo this year. Going in without a plan is usually how I do things anyway. Go check me out here.

---Seriously. Having no idea what’s going to happen is awesome. When I’m writing, anyway.

---You know what dictionary.com? If I want the definition of aphetic, telling me “pertaining to or due to aphesis” doesn’t really help. I mean really. No freaking duh it’s related to aphesis.

---By the way, it means how a word evolves to lose an unstressed syllable.

---Figuratively, if the sun were an orange, the earth would be a grain of salt. People don’t realize how huge that sucker is.

---Further figuratively, if the sun were a grain of salt, VY Canis Majoris would be a freaking basketball. 

---The more I learn about space, the scarier it becomes.

---A few weeks ago, I spotted a deer in my backyard. There’s one of those DEER X-ING signs about a mile away, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen one.

---I also saw a wild turkey once. Not around here. In fact, it was near the exit to the airport.

---Well, they can’t fly on their own.

---One time, I misspelled sequitur as “sequiter” and Word suggested squitter and sequined, but not sequitur. Really Word? REALLY?

---The “Here Comes the Bride” wedding march is from a German opera. Yes, it is played during a wedding. Of course, most weddings don’t end with murder and the death of the bride. At least, most non-German weddings don't.

Random Thoughts

---I’m thinking a publisher that promises to harass JK Rowling until she reads your book isn’t a good publisher.

---Although actually, they were taking $49 from writers to ask her to read their books. They could take the money, ask her, and she could go “Get away from me before I mace you,” and they’d still be doing what they were being paid for.

---Ask.

---I was watching Speedthe other day and marveling how little that movie makes sense. You’re pursuing a mad bomber and you storm his house? You shoot a hostage because it “takes them out of the equation” (uh, hello, it also means there is no reason to keep him/her alive!)? That Sandra Bullock somehow managed to stay attached to her arms even though she was handcuffed to a speeding subway car crashing through a road?

---But nothing is as mind boggling as the freaking bus jump. From views of the highway, we can see both sides of the break are at the same height. And the laws of physics state that the bus should not have made itbecause no matter how fast you are going or how big/small the gap is, gravity will pull you down. Seeing as how it was a fifty foot gap, they should have smashed into one of the highway supports.

---My mom always tells me I have to let stuff like that go and just enjoy the movie. I try, but then something like Terminator II comes along and makes a fool out of causality.

---A person can live buried in a coffin for about one to two hours. It depends on how big it is and how much they panic.

---Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.

---Another addition to the morbidity file: at it's weakest point, it takes sixteen pounds of pressure to crack the skull of an adult human.

---Cows face magnetic north when they graze, or they turn around and face south. All cows. Everywhere.

---Deer too.

---We’re through the looking glass here, people.

---It’s technically illegal to sing “Happy Birthday to You” in public.

---And finally, I leave you with the best conversation ever:

My mom: I went up to the bank to get money and wouldn’t you know it, the drive up ATM is broken. The only other one is clear across town and I’m heading in the other direction. So I had no money.

Me: Did you try the one inside?

My mom: …I did not.

Random Thoughts

---Yes, it's that time again.

---When you’re watching something online and an advertising screen pops up, does anyone ever actually click it? I mean, on purpose?

---Further, who clicks on banner ads ever? No one? Yep. No one.

---I bet you didn’t think I’d have an answer for that one, did you?

---I remember one time, my nephew asked my mom if the platypus was the only mammal that could lay eggs and my mother replied that yes, it was. Then I said, “There’s another animal. I think it’s called the echidna.” And I was correct. The thing is, I have no idea how I knew that. Talk about subconscious absorption of information…

---If you watch the credits of the movie SEVEN, you’ll see that very few characters are referred to by name. Those played by Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow are the most obvious exceptions.

---I’m sure you can all guess what movie I watched last night.

---I was looking through the blogs in my reader and I discovered that 59 have some form of “write” in their title (mine included in that one), 17 have the word “blog”, and 11 start with My. Granted, this is out of four hundred (still wonder why I don’t visit as often as I should?), but it’s interesting that more people use “My” in their title than “author.”

---I should change the name of this to “My Writing Blog.” Just so there’s no confusion about what I’m doing here.

---My cousin is leaving tomorrow to visit friends and go to a Soundgarden concert. While away, he’ll be staying with John Lasseter. Yes, that John Lasseter. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

---You know how I make these “random thoughts” posts? I just write down things as I think of them—provided they’re interesting—and once I have enough, I post it. Then I think of something really interesting that I should have put up but forgot. And then I start the cycle again.

---Yeah, I’m playing pretty fast and loose with the word “interesting” there.

---Oh, I see a banner ad. I suppose that means I’ll go climb to the top of Mount Everest now.

Random Thoughts

---The Humpty Dumpty rhyme was originally a riddle. That’s why it never mentions he’s an egg. But since it’s so popular that everyone knows what he is, it’s kind of lost the “What is he?” punch.

---I read an article in the paper that called ATLAS SHRUGGED TWILIGHT for conservatives and libertarians. I could not stop laughing for a good five minutes.

---Remember the last time I did this I reported that the last American WWI Combat Vet died? Yeah. Now I'm sorry to report that the last WWI Combat Vet period died, in his home in Perth. Thank you for your service, sir.
---There is still one non-Combat Vet left, a lady from the UK named Florence Green. Thank you as well, ma'am.

---It's a complete coincidence that I'm doing another Random Thoughts post at the same time as another WWI Vet's death. I had this all set up to post when I saw the news and added it. A bit eerie.

---I miss Law and Order.

---To make this perfectly clear: REAL Law and Order.

---I cleaned out my closet today. It’s amazing the junk one can accumulate over the years. I have copies of books I’ve never heard of.

---Irony: finding my long lost cat’s cradle next to a copy of Vonnegut’s CAT’S CRADLE. True story.

---ANIMAL FARM will always be my favorite thinly-veiled social commentary.

---“Spaghetti squash” tastes almost exactly like spaghetti (with the sauce on, I couldn’t tell the difference at all).

---Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper died together in a plane crash.

---I can never tell sans-serif l apart from I. This drives me nuts on Twitter because without fail, I read it wrong the first time.

---Mother’s Day is coming up. At least my mom isn’t as difficult to shop for as my dad. She’s close, though.

---Oh, crap. Then Father’s Day is coming up.

---USA Network. Why is it okay to say bitch on television but not balls? I don’t see why derogatory words towards women are all right when slang for male genitals is not.

Ice-9!

Random Thoughts: The Return

Yes, it’s this time again. You know, the time when I run out of ideas and it’s not a theme day so I have to reach into my post vault and bring out…I don’t know, whatever I can find.

---I had that dream again last night.

---No, not really. I was watching Childrens Hospital as I wrote this and that’s one of the one-liners thrown out by the guy hospital loudspeaker, “Sal Viscuso.” He’s voiced by Michael Cera.

---That’s supposed to be a reference to M*A*S*H, who I think had the same name for their announcer. I don’t really know because I’ve never seen that show. It was off the air before I was born.

---The murder rate in Norway is less than one murder per year. Do they just decide, “eh, it’s too cold out to carry out my murderous rage”?

---Keep in mind, this is also the birth place of death metal. I kind of wonder if these things are linked.

---Don’t ask, don’t tell was finally repealed. And it’s about damn time, too. I think detractors against the repeal used the same arguments as they did to keep out women (too “distracting”). Honestly, if you’re that worried about your fellow soldier checking out your ass in the middle of combat, you’re probably not a very focused soldier to begin with.

---There are people complaining the repeal is part of a larger gay agenda. And they’re right; it’s a larger gay agenda towards equal rights. Crazy to think these people want to be treated like people. 

---At the time of the tone, it will be half past infinity. 

---More snow. Damn it. I bet there’s going to be another spike in births in September, too.

---There was once a joke on Family Guy about “the fat kid from Stand By Me” (aka Jerry O’Connell) marrying Rebecca Romijn. What they neglect to mention is how handsome he grew up to be. Seriously, I saw him on an old episode of Without A Trace and almost choked.

---I’ve probably said this before, but it’s worth repeating: anyone who suggests you watch The Human Centipede is a bad, evil person. Run from them now.

---John Steinbeck is said to have based the Hamilton family of his EAST OF EDEN on his mother's family. A small boy named John Steinbeck is even a minor character in the novel.

---Nine out of ten times, Futurama takes the time to be accurate with its science. That’s higher than shows that claim to be fact based.

---Despite claims to the contrary, a couple, each with blue eyes, can have a child with brown eyes. My nephew is actually proof of this since he has brown eyes, his father has blue and his mother, green.

---BEEEEEEEEP.