From The Spamfiles

Yay! I missed this.

“Barbara spies” I’m sure she does, which is why I’m not giving her any info.

More free tool sets. It really bothers me that they’re using an in front of consonants. What is up with that?

$250-$500 per days. 🙄 How many days? Probably around five hundred.

Diego really isn’t giving up. But he’s involved with AI, so he’s worse than a scammer, he’s a total scumbag thief.

Aviator game? I’ve never heard of it. He also failed to make it in any way sound interesting. This is why you work on your elevator pitches, people.

From The Spamfiles

Happy Halloween! We’re celebrating with spam. Because it’s sooooo spooooooky!
 

Apparently I’ve been invited to review the city of Pittsburgh, a place I’ve never been to, as I am one of their customers!

I don’t know what content they have, but I assume it’s some sort of scam, and possibly a virus as well.

Two hundred fifty to five hundred per days! That sounds totally like something a real actual person would say!

I don’t know how I got on Blanca’s mailing list, but I wish she’d leave me alone. Also I can’t stand Tom Cruise.

 

Bots come in bursts on Tumblr. It’s quiet now, but a few weeks ago, I was getting a lot, most of which are empty. Amber here is a rarity because she actually filled her blog with these pictures, all of which seem to be from different people who I swear don’t look like real people.

From The Spamfiles

It’s that time again!

For some reason, this one did not get caught by the spam filter in spite of the email address, which is thirty nine random characters long. Because that’s a totally normal address to have.

Yes, periods in between words for toolsets I didn’t order is totally normal.
 

When your butt doesn’t smell like butt is time to worry.

You can tell it’s spam because it calls it “e dash mail” instead of email like a normal person.

Yes, the USPS absolutely sends a text from a Hotmail account full of random letters.

From The Spamfiles

Last one of the month!

No. I’ve never recommended anyone ever.

Sigh. Well, I suppose it’s better than the racist African ones.

With CarShield, your car can take one hit before it gets destroyed! But then you have to let it recharge before you can use it again.

Somewhere out there, someone keeps sending out messages to people about rewards they’ve received and wondering why no one ever responds.

Really, the only new followers I’ve gotten on twitter in months are random women with lots of numbers in their handles. Twitter is now like ninety percent bots.

From The Spamfiles

Happy Spam Day! I love months with five Tuesdays in them.

I can one hundred percent guarantee that I don’t want to meet anyone with the email address “Hot Butt”.

Protip: don’t give out your informations to anyone who spells it informations.
 

Okay, if I’m down fifty two pounds in twenty eight days, I’ve lost a limb—possibly two.

They say no tricks so obviously they’re telling the truth.
 

Most of the spambots following me on Tumblr are just pictures of half-naked women with empty blogs, so this one that is trying to get me to sell/pawn stuff is pretty unique. Not to mention way off for Tumblr’s userbase.

From The Spamfiles

The last one of these for several weeks! I’m sure you’ll miss it.
 

Tell me you’ve never had a conversation with a woman without telling me you’ve never had a conversation with a woman.
 

“Last seen ten minutes ago”? Why are you stalking this woman???

So they’re congratulating me because I have to authorize Wells Fargo sending me a hundred dollars. I’m pretty sure they’re just throwing random words around at this point.

Man, I have so many free knives. And it’s true they’re frequently knocking.
 

Eddie Debra (?) sent me a message at the “tour site” (???) and they are shocked, shocked I say, that I haven’t responded.

From The Spamfiles

I do love easy posts.
 

There’s a lot that’s straight up suspicious about this, but the only thing that really bothers me is that there’s a period after every letter in “PayPal” but the L.

And here I was worrying about my oxygen concentrating needs. Whew!
 

Four point five million??? Oh, wait it’s “used compensation”. That’s no good.
 

I do want a free knife, but I’m not going to lie, I’m worried about the fact that it seems to be knocking.
 

They could almost pass for a real person if their email address didn’t have a completely different name than the name they use in the message. I guess their scam is getting me to email them back because we’ve both been signed up for some Zombie porn and sex meet site against our wills. Which, ugh, that’s probably a real thing out there somewhere.

From The Spamfiles

Spam never disappoints. Mostly because something so stupid can’t really be disappointing.

Huh, apparently I’m sending these to myself. I know I always have to say “ATTN VICTIM” in order to get my attention. Otherwise how would I know?

Wow. It literally starts by telling me I can regrow my lost hair and in the same line goes into telling me I can restore my hearing, like it forgot which scam it was trying to pull on me mid sentence.

I had to use Google Translate to figure out what language it is—Slovak, a language I do not speak, but with the word “investovat” in there, I think I can figure out what they’re after. And spoiler alert, I was right.
 

Okay, first of all, I can’t begin to describe how detestable I find that, second of all, eliminate???? That’s just concerning.
 

I do believe it’s important to keep things accessible for screen readers in the like (actually, I should be more conscientious about it and start putting in image descriptions). But of course I’m distracted by the fact that I don’t even have “timeanddate.com” anywhere on my blog.

From The Spamfiles

Uh oh. Only a couple of days left in a month. Time to start scrambling to finish all my goals.

Something’s been confirmed. I have no idea what, but it’s definitely confirmed.

Yes, I’m always emailing myself to verify my informations. It’s how they get confirmed.

“Savannah Kane” sounds like they tried to come up with the most American sounding name they could, and then their email address sounds like someone trying to come up with a Japanese name without knowing anything about Japan.

It’s somewhere lost in the ellipses.

Yes, I totally believe the president is emailing me because he used his full name and told me he was the current president. He does this all the time. We’re good friends.

From The Spamfiles

I know you’re excited!

 

Since we’re using emojis, the one I’d use for this would be 🙄.
 

First of all I’m apparently emailing this to myself. Second of all… what the hell is going on with the letters? Why is every O and A in red and P in blue??? What is special about those letters?????
 

Well, I’m in between the ages of 35-60, but I’m not a real gentleman, so I guess I won’t be holding the door for HOTINFINIT. Tough luck.

Definitely feeling uneasy about the quotes being used here. First ‘kills’, which just makes me think it’s going to kill the user, then “speechless”, which makes me think it’s going to kill the wives, too.

…Stay away from me and my pants, Unknown Commenter.