From The Spamfiles

Spam week! Let’s see how they’re trying to scam me now.

So much to get into here. Honestly, the “days” thing is an annoying mistake, but I am offended at the use of n apostrophe in place of and.

…Just how old do you think I am?

I don’t remembering entering all these contests where I’ve won an toolset, but they just keep coming in.

Wow! I was selected to received a direct deposited of $750 from an app I never even signed up for! Miraculous!

The most annoying part of this is that Virtual Starlight Kid sounds like a real Tumblr name, and I wish it was mine.

From The Spamfiles

This is quite a bit less depressing than everything that’s going on in the world.

Obvious Scam Sign #1: the “per Days” thing, which is just bad grammar; Obvious Scam Sign #2: the heart eyes emoji, which, come on, weird; Obvious Scam Sign #3: the amount it pays, which is an actual living wage and almost no job pays that.

The unusual activity is that I don’t have a Facebook account.

Since I shouldn’t have to go through the obvious scam signs again, I’ll just speculate what FaceSwap might be. Is it like the movie Face/Off? I never actually saw that one.

They catch the fish and immediately drive it to your door. Save fifteen dollars!

Love that it’s a dot au domain. I guess this is the Australian Peoples Credit Union, which isn’t much use to me.

From The Spamfiles

I love these posts. They’re so easy. Spam is one item always in abundance.

It’s spam, but probably doesn’t steal as much personal information as Meta does.

I guess they’re trying to tell me my account is suspended? It’s hard to tell since most of it is just random letters. If you’re going to spam, at least make it clear.

Mizmos! It’s just fun to say.

I am immediately suspicious of any one wanting to put a guest post on my blog. I have like three followers. Clearly they don’t know what they’re doing.
 

Free MSG! Get your free MSG here!

From The Spamfiles

How are the spammers trying to scam me this month?

I was going to comment on the whole I M ran thing, or the i rana, but then I saw that it boasts “human-written” articles, and I got bummed that that’s now something we have to say.

Don’t know how I ended up on this mailing list, or why the name involved is “Jeurytqzw”. It sounds like someone sneezed.

Viv at Vivcity is sending me a ten digit number. Just for fun, I guess.

Well, it’s Facebook, so I assume the unusual activity is implying people shouldn’t be allowed to be bigots and maybe scientists who’ve spent decades studying things actually know what they’re talking about.

Yes, there’s nothing that screams “Not a bot” more than a user name of 123456787…

From The Spamfiles

It’s that magical time again! Let’s look at the scams people somehow actually fall for.

This spammer seems to think the more punctuation they use, the more legitimate they look. They should have thrown in some semi-colons and parentheses.

Leaving aside the fact that I don’t use CBD, this is inviting me to a Black Friday sale. While this message is old, it’s not six months old. This is like from February. It’s a little late!

It’s got a circle R, it must be real!

The first one didn’t work, so they figured throwing some emojis in there would make it look more realistic.

Rajani was making the rounds again a few months back. And I think a few weeks ago. She shows up a lot here.

From The Spamfiles

Bonus spam day! I hope I don’t run out. The spam well has been surprisingly dry lately.

Where to begin? I suppose the most egregious insult is that there’s an apostrophe before the S in greetings. Though abbreviating attention is also offensive.

If you put “an” before a number beginning with one, you can get the hell out of my house and never come back.

 

An Power Station. They’re doing this to spite me.

I’m sending this to myself. Also, I’m a costumer.

It’s always the posts that are years old that they comment on. On Tumblr commenting on old posts is actually very normal. On literally everything else it’s just suspicious.

From The Spamfiles

It’s spam day!

Yeah, that email address just screams peace of mind.

Soooo. Is this from the AARP or this Explore Life thing? I mean, obviously it’s not really from any of those. I’m just confused at what it’s pretending to be. How do people fall for these scams?

It’s all the emojis that really sell this as being legitimate. Along with the circle R after UPS. It’s totally fake without that.

Well, why don’t you get back to me when iCloud ® succeeds to attempt payment.

Pushy perver. I can’t even.

From The Spamfiles

The one constant of the universe is people trying to scam you.

Where to even begin. First of all, apparently I’m sending this to myself? But what is with the Reserved symbol after it? And I’ve been reported—to who??? Finally, anyone who uses “e-mail” is not a real human being. Email. It’s called email.

Now isn’t this a fine mess of words. Who pays to do a guest post on some rando’s blog? Well, clearly not a real person because no actual person says “the interface is beautifully decorated”.

Blanca is usually trying to get me to sign up for some scam business opportunity, so it’s a surprise that she’s sending me this weird “blessing”. Though obviously it is still a scam.

Isn’t that what home insurance is for? What’s the purpose of a warranty? This one is just confusing. I mean, obviously a scam. But still confusing.

I’m not sure why the spammers like to pick posts that are years old to leave their comments under, like I’m not going to find that suspicious. Are there people out there who actually fall for this sort of thing? Oh god, there are people out there who actually fall for this sort of thing.

From The Spamfiles

It’s been a while.

Yeah, that’s what I want, a cheap website full of malware designed by some guy named Walter.

I’ve been selected to receive the package T-Mobile randomly ships out because companies do that stuff all the time! The trademark sign is what makes it look legit.

That welcome 43754 makes it feel like a dystopian video game where you’re trapped by a rogue AI trying to kill you and you have to make it through a series of increasingly elaborate traps.

This is obviously several months old. Remember when an earthquake was the worst thing the world was dealing with? I miss that.

A DM I received on Tumblr. No, this isn’t a porn bot at all. (Eyeroll emoji)

From The Spamfiles

Last spam of the year! Which means the year is almost over, a frankly horrifying concept.

Does the lack of an Oxford comma bother anyone else or is it just me?

I don’t know why anyone would think I need more web reach on my blog. Look at all my visitors! [sound of crickets chirping]

CarShield has not heard of spaces between words.
 

I’m guessing the DA is the “Domain Authority” Ashfaq was talking about there, something I don’t care about and am not entirely sure is a real thing.

So close to sounding like a real native English speaker, but you did mess up a few verbs and nouns. Also how is that not the sketchiest address sending me this text? Plus, this actually came in at like three in the morning, which I of course did not see because I was asleep. No, nothing suspicious about that!