Tuesday, April 30, 2024

From The Spamfiles

Bonus spam day! I hope I don’t run out. The spam well has been surprisingly dry lately.

Message from David Wilson, saying Greeting’s Beneficiary (and greetings has an apostrophe before the S), Attn My Dear, I have registered your package with Speed…
Where to begin? I suppose the most egregious insult is that there’s an apostrophe before the S in greetings. Though abbreviating attention is also offensive.

Message from Harbor underscore Freight, saying Congratulations, You have won an 170 Piece Stanley Tool Set, Confirmation Qen
If you put “an” before a number beginning with one, you can get the hell out of my house and never come back.
 Message from Dewalt Power (tm) saying Congratulations You have won an Dewalt Power Station From Harbor Freight, Confirm to receive…
An Power Station. They’re doing this to spite me.

Message from myself apparently, saying We have temporary blocked your email from sending #77618, Gmail, Dear Costumer…
I’m sending this to myself. Also, I’m a costumer.

A comment from Allen Paige saying nice post thaanks for sharing
It’s always the posts that are years old that they comment on. On Tumblr commenting on old posts is actually very normal. On literally everything else it’s just suspicious.

4 comments:

  1. Harbor Freight and Dewalt are real companies, so I'm sure they catch some gullible people.

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  2. You'd think they'd try to fix the grammar and spelling mistakes, but no. I feel like I'm reading student work.

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  3. I'm guessing the power station they're referring to isn't like the place the power for a city is generated, right? I'm kind of imagining something the size of a city block and wondering why the heck anyone would want to win it!

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  4. The spam is coming from inside the house?!?!?!?

    The grammar in spam messages always makes me laugh. And cry.

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Please validate me.