Random Thoughts

---I think girls underwater is becoming the new girls in fancy dresses as the new YA cover thing. Although it will be a while before the latter is overtaken.

---Candidate for mother of the year: “A Southeast Texas woman faces a felony charge for allegedly delaying hospital treatment of her teenage son’s gunshot wound until she could research treatment options on the Internet”. Yeah. Gunshot wounds are the kind of thing you want to Google before getting them taken care of.

---“Polk School Bus Driver Staged Fight Between Students”. It might seem like I’ve been posting a lot of newspaper headlines in my Random Thoughts lately, but tell me, could you resist stuff like this?

---Speaking of which: “Texas teacher accused of duct taping student to chair”… a year after another teacher was accused of ordering kindergartners to hit a child. I’m not a mother. I have no desire to be one. Honestly, I’m not big on kids in general. But come on. How do people not get that you can’t treat children like that?!

---Yes, an interrobang is absolutely necessary.

---Actual quote from the teacher-duct tape article: “‘We are talking about human beings and they do make mistakes. Having said that that behavior is not excusable.’”

---There is “mistake”. Then there is “child abuse”. There’s a big difference.

---When Abercombie & Fitch’s CEO touts being exclusionary as part of their business strategy and refuses to make clothes for plus sized women you can’t really be surprised that they won’t make their stores accessible to disabled people.

---Seriously. Those guys are DICKS.

---“Senate defeats bills to keep student loans low”. Of course they did. It’s not like, say, passing a bill to keep airlines in business because everyone in congress flies a lot. I mean, this doesn’t even involve them.

---The preceding bullet points are evidence for the argument that we do not live in the best of all possible universes.

---I have got to stop checking my news feed.

---Actual newspaper headline: “And Xbox One to Rule Them”. I get the reference you’re making, but since the actual quote is “One Ring”, it’s kind of convoluted.

---“Michael Buble Being Stalked By A Velociraptor” is a real blog. And also evidence for the argument that we live in the best of all possible universes.

Random Thoughts

---“Cicadas set to overrun East Coast”…this summer is not going to be fun.

---It’s also known as the “Cicadapocalypse”.

---“Aught” means both something and nothing. I know I’ve mentioned this before. I just find it fascinating.

---“Woman arrested for slapping wrong child at school”. I don’t think you’re allowed to do that even if it’s the right child.

---“Big Newly Discovered Spider as Big as Your Face”. It also latches hold of your head and lays an alien in your chest. I assume.

---Seriously, as big as your face. AS BIG AS YOUR FACE.

---Verizon patented a cable box that uses infrared to watch people for specific activities while they watch television so they can target advertisements. The activities? Talking, laughing, singing, and playing an instrument among other things. Laughing I get. Talking—maybe, if the show’s boring or someone won’t shut up while I’m watching Criminal Minds, dammit. But who the hell sings or plays an instrument in front of the television?

---There are also apparently programs that try to detect how expensive your computer is and try to target ads based on it. Which explains why I’m always getting “Go back to school and earn more!” ads.

---China is now censoring the word “censorship” from its internet. So now they won’t know they’re being censored, I guess.

---The Founder of 99 cent stores died. I don’t like to make jokes about deaths, so I’ll just point out that he turned that idea into a billion dollar empire.

---A school in Washington state canceled classes due to the weather. That weather being sunshine. Perhaps they were afraid of the strange orb of fire in the sky.

While helping my mom move furniture (seriously, I hate when she takes vacations):

Her: This is impossible to move. There are no handles!

Me: It’s a desk.

…As big as your face.