Apocalypse Scenario 1: Zombies

It’s a zombie apocalypse! Oh noes! What do I do?

General Zombie Apocalypse Survival

1. Don’t assume a headshot will kill a zombie. It could be an original-Night-of-the-Living-Dead zombie, and nothing but total immolation could kill those.

2. Should you be in a scenario where headshots do work, still always consider a zombie to be dangerous, even if you’ve neutralized it. It might only be stunned or you could inadvertently be exposed to the zombie virus by merely touching it.

3. In order to reduce risk of infection, behead all dead zombies and burn them. Be sure to use heavy-duty gloves while in contact with them.

4. Never not kill a zombie if you have the chance. Less of them equals less of them. Seriously, if there is a zombie and you can kill it, do it or you just know it will come back to kill you/your loved ones in an ironic death. Which I think happens on The Walking Dead at least once a season.

5. Stay out of cities. Where there’s lots of people, there’s lots of zombies.

6. Stay out of buildings/houses during your regular travels. Outside, there’s a lot less chance of getting boxed in. And always check every room before you decide to bunk down for the night in a strange house. Do you want to wake up and find something gnawing on you?

7. Not all zombies decay—think of 28 Days Later, where the virus didn’t reanimate the dead, but made the living act like them. The advantage of “living” zombies is that they will eventually starve to death. The disadvantage: they won’t decay and thus will always be able to hear, see, and smell you.

8. Don’t use chainsaws. Just don’t. What if it gets stuck halfway through the shoulder blade? Then you still have a zombie plus no weapon.

So what will you do when the living dead rise?