Have I used this title before? I think I have, when referring to writer’s block. Which this isn’t about.
Having followers is nice. It means someone’s willing to put up with your ramblings. But of course there are those who turn the process into a crapshoot by being the digital equivalent of the creepy guy on the bus who sits next to you when there are like ten empty seats and some of them are next to each other so why are you here?
1. People with pornographic avatars.
One time, on my old blog, I gained a new follower and was like, yay. I clicked on the followers button on the dashboard. I look at the picture of my new follower, and I’m like, “What is that? It almost looks like a…oh, crap, it is.”
2. People who don’t use correct grammar in their bios.
It’s usually a sign that they just put something through Google Translate and posted it, which means a spammer, of course.
3. People with an advertisement in their bio.
I’m not talking about people with links to their books on Amazon or something. These people (okay, spammers) will want you to buy whatever it is they’re selling, whether it’s spambot followers or Vitamins to Help you lose wieght.
4. People with innocuous sounding handles that turn out to mean something way crazy/offensive.
I was so excited to get a new follower on Tumblr, and I followed “Thingtwoknow” back to be courteous. And then my dashboard was filled with rants about how mass shootings have nothing to do with guns, but are actually the fault of the medications people take for mental illness. Annnnnd block.
5. Anyone anonymous.
It should be pretty obvious why. People are a lot less likely to be jerks when their name is attached to whatever idiocy they’re spouting.
Seriously. Pick another seat.