Going Postal II, Part 1

Today’s my blogiversary! I think. I’m like ninety percent sure. Anyway, I’m going to celebrate like I did last year: by reposting! Because there’s no better way to celebrate your blog’s longevity than by not blogging. And first up is the post that I think was my best one from the past year, even if it doesn’t have a terrible amount of views or comments. It’s actually from last September, after I did the repost thing for the first time.

The Z is for Zombie (Originally posted 9/24/2013 [http://jeoneil.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-z-is-for-zombie.html])

Well, I finally got around to watching World War Z last weekend, so spoilers ahoy if you haven’t seen it yet but still want to. It has already been reviewed by more articulate people than I (who also saw the movie when it actually came out, thus making the reviews actually useful), so I’m not going to go into much depth about it. Suffice to say it was a very standard action film with characters that weren’t realized enough to be compelling and despite being a zombie movie, wasn’t really scary. Honestly, reading the news about its troubled production was way more entertaining than the resulting film.

The real point I want to get into is how it was a very poor adaptation of the book, like adaptation in name only. The book is about societal collapse and eventually, its reconstruction. It’s accepted that the zombie plague can’t be cured, can’t be prevented, and is always fatal. Conventional methods of warfare are ineffective. Ruthless, amoral methods end up being the only way to survive, from cannibalism to using humans as zombie bait.

The movie shows none of that, except maybe the plague being incurable. Zombies are unstoppable excepting headshots, like in the book, but there is never any modification of tactics beyond that “infect yourself with a curable disease and then the zombies won’t want you” thing. Even though I would think that the rotting undead wouldn’t be that picky. Seeing as they’re dead.

But that’s beside the point. The movie is weak. The societal upheaval is replaced with a man searching for clues about the disease so he can reunite with his family. Granted, the original framing of WORLD WAR Z had no main character (except maybe the guy conducting the interviews), but still. They could have come up with something better than the weaksauce every-action-movie-ever plot they had. They didn’t try to make a WORLD WAR Z movie (or they tried and failed…miserably). They made a zombie movie with World War Z as its title.

Finally, I would like to point out that just because this movie of a book was bad doesn’t mean all book-movies are bad, even the ones that are bad adaptations. The original version of Blade Runner is hardly the adaptation of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? but most consider it a good movie in its own right. So if you’re not going to make a good adaptation, at least try to make a good movie.

Why is this my best? I’m not sure. I just think I nailed it on the head here. Not that World War Z was particularly difficult to find fault in. My only regret is that I could have gone into more detail about what made it fail as a movie, which I think is the greater sin than it simply being a poor adaptation. So what do you think about bad movies and bad adaptations of books?

More Zombies

It’s been a while since I’ve done an apocalypse post. And although I said I’ve done enough with zombies…there’s just so much material to go on. So here’s the best free zombie games I’ve come across.

The Sagittarian 1, 2, 3, 4a, 4b

I really like the author’s (Hyptosis) other works, the fairy tale reimaginings Hood and Aliceis Dead, so I was glad to give his zombie games a try. They’re choose-your-own adventure-like in style, making it more like a story than a game. He also just came out with another story set in the zombie wasteland called Riverside. You’ll have fun trying to pick an option that won’t end with you dead : ).

i saw her standing there

The I isn’t capitalized on purpose. That’s how it’s written. Anyway, this is a platformer with stick figures, where a guy is in love with a girl, but she’s a zombie now, so he has to keep luring her into a cage. Hey, it’s not trying to be a healthy relationship. There’s also a sequel. With lasers.

Shadow Tag

Okay, these aren’t really zombies, but creepy children trying to kill you. And really, is there that much of a difference between children and zombies? No. No there isn’t. Anyway, the point in this game is to find everything you need to escape a creepy cabin (keys, gas, etc.) and not get nabbed by the children. And you better not let your flashlight run out of batteries.

Zombie Survival Quiz

No listing of free zombie games would be complete without a zombie survival quiz. It’s different from the last quiz I shared with you, with a lot more questions, and it gives you a Physical, Mental, Experience, and Emotional Rating. My physical was a B and my mental was a C, which I really think should be the other way around. My experience was a C (probably because I don’t know much about guns) and emotional was an F (oh, come on!!). You can also look at the answers when you’re done to see which ones are the best.

Survive a Zombie Apocalypse Using Geography

Or zombocalypse, if you will.

I can’t remember if I stumbled across the link to this or if someone sent it to me (if that’s you, sorry!), but I came across it sometime before the Challenge took over my life and now I finally have an opportunity to share it with you.

“How do you decide where to go in a zombie apocalypse?” a TED lesson by David Hunter. [http://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-do-you-decide-where-to-go-in-a-zombie-apocalypse-david-hunter] Basically, it teaches you how you should decide where to set up base in the impending zombocalpyse using geography. In under four minutes!

Have a good weekend!

More Zombocalypse Fun

I was always surprised that with all the zombie apocalypse stuff that’s out there, people don’t use the word zombocalypse for short. But frigging ginormous, that’s okay.

Sometimes I am just so mad at the world.

Anyway, Liz shared with me this awesome test of your zombie apocalypse survival skills. It tests your knowledge of zombies, how fast you can react, and asks about your overall physical health in order to determine how long you would last should a zombie apocalypse occur. I got 84 days, probably because I’m not exactly an athlete. If the zombies chasing me aren’t the slow, shambling variety, I’m getting eaten.

I’m not sure how accurate this survey is considering how short it is, but it will indicate whether or not you need to start hitting the gym to avoid the oncoming zombie hordes.

So how long will you live for? Be sure to share!

Apocalypse Scenario 1: Zombies

It’s a zombie apocalypse! Oh noes! What do I do?

General Zombie Apocalypse Survival

1. Don’t assume a headshot will kill a zombie. It could be an original-Night-of-the-Living-Dead zombie, and nothing but total immolation could kill those.

2. Should you be in a scenario where headshots do work, still always consider a zombie to be dangerous, even if you’ve neutralized it. It might only be stunned or you could inadvertently be exposed to the zombie virus by merely touching it.

3. In order to reduce risk of infection, behead all dead zombies and burn them. Be sure to use heavy-duty gloves while in contact with them.

4. Never not kill a zombie if you have the chance. Less of them equals less of them. Seriously, if there is a zombie and you can kill it, do it or you just know it will come back to kill you/your loved ones in an ironic death. Which I think happens on The Walking Dead at least once a season.

5. Stay out of cities. Where there’s lots of people, there’s lots of zombies.

6. Stay out of buildings/houses during your regular travels. Outside, there’s a lot less chance of getting boxed in. And always check every room before you decide to bunk down for the night in a strange house. Do you want to wake up and find something gnawing on you?

7. Not all zombies decay—think of 28 Days Later, where the virus didn’t reanimate the dead, but made the living act like them. The advantage of “living” zombies is that they will eventually starve to death. The disadvantage: they won’t decay and thus will always be able to hear, see, and smell you.

8. Don’t use chainsaws. Just don’t. What if it gets stuck halfway through the shoulder blade? Then you still have a zombie plus no weapon.

So what will you do when the living dead rise?