Specifically, what television has taught me about story structure and characterization.
1. Any problem can be solved with no serious ramifications.
2. The male lead and the female lead will always end up doing it (if they’re not already married). More than one of each? Also doing it.
3.a At the end of the episode, everything has to be right back the way it was.
3.b At the end of the episode, if everything isn’t back to normal, assume it is at the beginning of the next episode (also known as The Honeymooner’s clause).
4.a If the villain wins, the hero ends up learning a lesson.
4.b If the hero acts poorly, he always ends up learning a lesson.
5. Act like you have an overall plan worked out and everything will be all right. Lost.
6.a Overweight men have no trouble finding hot, thin wives who put up with their bulls**t.
6.b All women are thin. And have had work done (You want proof? Desperate Housewives. Enough said).
7. “It was all a dream” is an acceptable ending.
Now, that was fun. Go enter the contest! You have nothing to lose! You might even win!
More reasons why I don't watch. Even movies fall into these traps. I love sad endings. Only a couple of shows I watch now and one doesn't follow this at all.
ReplyDeleteSadly true. My husband and I have decided that when the TV show reaches 52 minutes, then things start to come together, and ta-duh! All is resolved. We learned this because we try not to head to the bathroom at that time, and miss the ending.
ReplyDeleteWell said, I did a two part post this week on lessons I learned from TV, after re reading it I think what I really learned is that I can rant incoherently without saying anything.
ReplyDeleteI wish I made a list.
hahahahaha :)
ReplyDeleteerica
Hee hee hee. I can't remember which comedian it was, but he said something a couple of years ago about the "fat guy, hot chick" phenomenon on TV. Chad now says it's like that in our house, too (although that's not quite accurate).
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! All of it true - especially the "fat guy hot chick" phenomenon (According to Jim anyone? King of Queens?) and all of them reasons why I gave my TV set to my parents two years ago.
ReplyDelete:-)
Would you believe I dreamt about this blog post last night?! I read it just before falling asleep and obviously it seeped into my subconcious! Everything you've said is sadly very true!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Make sure you check out the Power of Tension Blogfest I'm hosting with Rachel Morgan Writes. :-)