Real Horror

I remember when spiders were the worst thing I was scared of.

It’s putting a damper on the season, I can tell you that much.

Short and Spooky

This was Liz’s idea, prompted from last week’s mention of two-sentence short stories. These ones are written by yours truly.

My Two-Sentence Short Stories

Last night, I was alone in the house and so I double checked to make sure everything was locked up tight. Then when I was in bed trying to sleep, I heard the window next to me sliding open.

The doctors wouldn’t believe me when I told them there were spiders in my skull. They changed their minds when I drilled a hole in my head and they came pouring out.

After hours of scratching, I clawed my way out of my grave. But everyone ran away when they saw the decomposing flesh falling off my body.

That’s what I came up with! Can you think of a good two-sentence short story? And to finish off Halloween month, here’s a puzzle game where you dip a pumpkin in inks in an attempt to create a certain pattern. It’s super cute and fairly easy, although the higher levels will take some thinking to figure out. The only real drawback is that there’s only sixteen levels.

Happy Halloween!

Scary Stories

Subtitle, that you can, but probably shouldn’t, tell in the dark.

I’ve discovered several new short stories of the pants-crapping variety. And what else can I do but share them with you?

Tomb Of The Builders

By one of my favorite writers. Ninety nine percent of his work is the kind of stuff that grosses you out. This story is not, and it’s also way more horrifying.

Daycare

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Honestly, I thought the first part was the best and a creepier story on its own. But feel free to check out the rest and see for yourself.

The Little Girl That Cheated At Everything

It’s actually a poem, and a surprisingly good one at that. Really well done.

My Rich American Family

It reminds me a lot of The Handmaid’s Tale.

Finally, be sure to check out these two sentence horror stories. I can’t really talk more about them since that would give everything away. I mean, they are only two sentences after all.

Scary Movies 2017

More Halloween spooktacular fun! This week: movies.

Hell House LLC

This is pretty standard found footage fare, but it does manage to bring with it some genuinely creepy moments. A group of people are documenting their creation of a Halloween house, which happens to take place in a notorious hotel. Creepy stuff starts happening, obviously. There’s nothing new here, but I liked it and would suggest giving it a try if you’re having a scary movie night.

The Void

This movie is pretty bad in terms of story, characters, acting, and pretty much everything else. Its one shining asset is the amazing special effects used to create the monsters. I would recommend this only because it’s watchable enough to endure so you can enjoy some really cool monsters. If you like eighties horror movies, this will be right up your alley.

Mr. Jones

Okay, if I’m being honest, I put this movie on the list because I have no idea what the hell it was about and I’m hoping that if someone else watches it, they’ll be able to figure it out. If it had more focus, it might have actually been good. The basic plot is that a couple discovers that a man living out in the woods is a mysterious artist who sends creepy figures to random people, something which is never really explained. Which…yeah, “never really explained” sums up most of the movie. You get some hints and some speculation, but not nearly enough. I’m not someone who needs every little thing explained in great detail, but something would have been nice. So skip it unless you want to see some creepy imagery.

Dark Skies

Probably the movie here that I most enjoyed. It’s a typical alien abduction story, this time involving a whole family, and it has some of the usual horror movie tropes, i.e. the dad refusing to accept that it’s true after everyone else has. But it’s still enjoyable and genuinely creepy at times, and everything about it felt well done. Definitely try it out.

I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House

This Netflix original is about the caregiver of an elderly writer, but it’s also about the writer’s most famous novel, about a ghost that might very well live in the house. It’s, well, atmospheric. I guess that’s the best thing I can say about it. I liked it, but it’s probably not something I’d watch again, and I have to say I doubt a lot of people would enjoy it. If you want a gothic ghost story in the modern era, this is definitely it.

Scary Games

Because it’s that time of year again.

You Find Yourself In A Room

Not so much scary as it is psychological, this game is a text based adventure, where you type in words and the game responds almost like a story. Except in this case the game hates you. There are a few puzzles, but they are very simple. Mostly it’s just typing “look” and the game yelling at you. Anyway, it’s a fun, if weird, way to pass the time. Be warned, there is some swearing in this.

Don’t Escape

In a twist on the escape the room genre, in these three games you want to be locked in as securely as possible. They’re a mix of time management and point-and-click, and manage to be both tense and enjoyable. Go check them out when you have some time.

Deep Sleep

I’ve actually mentioned this game and its sequel before, but now the third and final game is out and you can play through the entire series. They are very atmospheric games, Lovecraftian almost. You know, without the racism.

You doing anything Halloween-y this month? Anything scary you want to share? 

Short And Scary

So I’ve done games and comics, how about some scary short films now? Yes! Let’s do that!

The Smiling Man

This one has the distinction of being both a short story and a short film, about a young man having a strange encounter while out walking late at night.

Play With Me

A short cartoon about a boy who wants to play outside. Prepare to be horrified.

Cargo

A man will do anything to save his baby daughter during a zombie apocalypse.

Metalosis Maligna

A fake documentary about a fake disease is really scary.

I am so bummed that Halloween month is going to be over next week. Then it’s just November. Ugh. Why can’t we have October all year?

Wait, no. October and my birthday all year.

Creepy Comics

Back to scary stuff! I’ve already told you about some creepy games, so now it’s time to look at some creepy comics. There’s some pretty good ones out there!

First of all, Emily Carroll is really the best when it comes to horror related comics. Most of them are fairly quick reads, and more on the psychological end of the horror spectrum. His Face All Red is very popular, and I really like Margot’s Room, where you click on the different pieces of the first image to read the different parts of the story. Out Of Skin is full of freaky imagery, and The Groom is pretty intense. My personal favorite is probably Some Other Animal’s Meat which is just so unsettling…well, read it, you’ll see.

I also really like The Dreaded Question by Kurt Huggins and Zelda Devon, and I have a feeling other writers will like it, too. It’s very creepy and gothic, and the ending is just perfect. Don’t you wish writing was that easy? ; )

And hey, if you want to check out something from Asia, check out the Korean comic The Bongcheon-Dong Ghost and prepare to never sleep again. It’s translated into English, so don’t worry. About that, anyway. Just watch out for the jumpscare.

So that’s it for this week. What did you think? Are there any scary comics you enjoy?

Games, Halloween Edition

Since it’s October, it’s time to share all the spooky things I’ve come across! I’ve found two really good game series and hey, both are horror based, so this is the perfect time to play.

The first is called Cube Escape by Rusty Lake. There are a total of nine games where you play a protagonist trying to, well, escape. The cube part comes from the fact that you’re generally confined to one or two rooms and you have to solve puzzles and put clues together in order to proceed. However small it sounds, it’s really bigger than you think. For example, in Seasons (arguably the best one) you’re only in one room, but through a sort of time-travel, you’re really exploring four different places.

For the most part, I’d say you’d be able to play through them with no problem, but I used a walkthrough to get through three of them (The Mill, Harvey’s Box, and Case 23) as they were a bit…dense, you could say, with the puzzles, occasionally even requiring passwords from previous games. But they are really fun, creepy, and hey, they’re free, so it’s not like it will cost you anything.

The second series I found is only two games, and it’s actually text based. In Playing With Letters and its sequel, A Sweet Typing Thrill, you have to figure out what word to type in in order to move on. The title of each “level” gives you a hint for a code you need to crack. Sometimes it’s an anagram, sometimes it’s a riddle, and in the second one, you have to use a lot of the Rotate 13 cipher (do yourself a favor and google it right away to make things easier). Both also have a secret ending you get by cracking a code from the song used (it’s mentioned right below the author’s name) and in the second, the title itsef. Well, if you need help with that, thankfully there are walkthroughs.

But be warned, the storyline is very dark, full of death and murder. Even if it’s only text, if that’s not you’re thing then you should give it a pass.

Scary Books

And now, for this last week of October, we have a scary book. And it’s a good one, so pay attention.

Penpal by Dathan Auerbach

Plot: 10 Characterization: 9 Writing: 10

This book was just amazing. I actually didn’t first read it when it was a book but online when it was just a series of posts the author made. It was so popular that he had a Kickstarter and raised enough money to not only e-publish it but also to print physical copies of the book. And I’m not surprised because it’s really an excellent read.

The writing is good (that 10 was not given out lightly), very deep and easy to get lost in. The story is the narrator piecing together strange events from his childhood that he assumed were unrelated at the time, but looking back on it as an adult, he can only conclude that someone was stalking him. Their motives are unknown but as the book goes on, it’s obvious that whatever the stalker wants, it isn’t good.

The book isn’t very long, but thoroughly enjoyable. Everything about it feels realistic and natural, which of course enhances the terror. Unfortunately, it’s a bit limited by being in a first person-limited point of view. The characterizations of the other people could have been more fleshed out, like the narrator’s mother and a few other adults. It’s not really detrimental to the story as a whole or anything, just a minor issue. Overall, if you like non-paranormal horror, yes, get this now.

Short Scares

Several months ago on Tumblr (wait! Don’t leave! It’s good, I swear) I stumbled across a blog called Sixpenceee (the extra E’s are silent) that is absolutely filled with scary goodness. Her posts range from scary stories to weird events to random science facts. Being that this is October, we’re going to stick with the scary stories, but there’s a link to all the different subjects she covers over in her sidebar.

The scary stories she posts are (mostly) written by other people and range from mediocre to downright frightening—she’s actually also holding a short story contest this month and you can take a look at the entries on her forum. Anyway, I’ve tracked down the ones that I think are the best, as well as several others that have been highly recommended:

Three girls came into my ER last night, I have no idea whatthey are

The title is pretty self-explanatory for this one.

The Undying Love

A quick one, definitely amusing in a horrifying way.

Betsy The Doll

Considered one of the best stories on the site.

Dr. Ramsey

Made even more horrifying by the fact that the writer claims these are real events that took place in the late seventies.

Her Lips Taste Like Cigarettes

Really short but really good.

Autopilot

Another that’s considered one of the best, and it’s definitely a punch to the gut.

NoEnd House

A psychological mindscrew.

Minimalist

Another psychological story, this one about the degeneration of the mind.

My Daughter Learned to Count

Another short, creepy and amusing story.

This New, Old House

Short and scary.

The Guardians

This one’s probably going to squick out a few people…

Rocking Horse Creek

More sad than scary, but definitely good.

Both My Parents Were Surgeons and I Used to Talk to Furniture

In my opinion, the best one.

Okay, I guess that’s enough. I actually had to trim this back a bit because I just wanted to link to all of them if you like scary things, I suggest you try them. And definitely check out the Short Stories link because there’s a lot more where that came from. Just clear a few days off your schedule first as you won’t be sleeping.

You Know What “Horror” Means, Don’t You?

Well, I watched the first season of American Horror Story. Not my idea, I assure you. I honestly would not have finished it except I don’t like to criticize something I haven’t completely watched. But now I have and I never, ever have to watch it again.

Okay, recap: the first season is about a family moving across country after the wife’s miscarriage and husband’s affair. They move into a house that’s way underpriced because the previous owners died in a murder suicide. Obviously the place is filled with violent ghosts and…I guess that’s supposed to be scary? I don’t know. I never found it to be. Granted, these ghosts can actually hurt people and then disappear so they’re actually a threat. But honestly, I thought the show spent too much time confusing gore and shock value (and rape; lets not forget rape) with horror. Probably the only thing they did right was the accurate portrayal of an abusive parental relationship. I guess that was certainly horrifying.

The characters are, for the most part, as dull as dirt, with no characteristics besides “Wife and mother” or “rebellious teenage daughter”, to the point where after watching thirteen episodes I can’t even remember their names. It doesn’t help matters that the overall story is completely incoherent. Things are thrown at you with no explanation and you’re expected to remember them if they’re finally brought up again—which is definitely an if as there are several things that are just there to be weird (or gratuitously sexy) and then…that’s it. There’s no reason for it. Take the sleepwalking that seems to afflict the men of the house. It’s mentioned two or three times, but there’s no explanation as to why it happens, why it only affects some men, and why it happens once or twice and then never again. And even if something is explained, it might seem really half-assed, like the writers couldn’t think of something good so they just went with the first idea that popped into someone’s head. Case in point, the reason they cobbled together as to why the house is haunted. Really, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with there not being an explanation. In fact, the not-knowing can be part of the horror. But they came up with this nonsense and it’s not scary or satisfying and that’s basically the entire series in a nutshell.

If you enjoy it…well, go ahead. I didn’t. Except for Jessica Lange, who is both the best actor of the bunch and the only well defined character. Seriously, I would watch an entire show of just her and I can see why they’ve brought her back for every subsequent season.

Bonus Review: Fear the Walking Dead

Yeah, I watched this one, too. The Walking Dead is a show I could generally take or leave. I enjoy it when I watch it and the good points outweigh the bad ones (unlike the above). This sequel series however...not so much. It fails at literally everything the primary show succeeds at.

It is so, so boring. Like, ridiculously so. Six episodes in and I was still waiting for something to happen, and when it finally did, I found it underwhelming to say the least. I didn’t care about any of the characters except for Daniel, the Latino barber who was trying to keep his wife and daughter safe. They really should have made them the focus of the show. It might have been watchable.

Halloween!

I am SO excited! I love Halloween. It’s the best holiday. You get candy, to dress up in costumes, go to parties, and best of all, there is no obligation to see your family so you can just have fun! And candy. Lots and lots of candy.

In honor of this greatest of holidays, all of October will be dedicated to spooky things. Well, not really the etymology days, unless you’re scared of large blocks of words. And the comic days are going to be funny, not scary. So really only the Tuesdays. Except next Tuesday, which is my goals week. But the rest of the month will totally be about scary things! Scary websites, scary stories, scary movies! Scary!

Scarier than this little guy.

Get ready, because I am going to Halloween the crap out of you.

The Web

Yes, more bugs, because spiders are nothing if not nefarious.

Another totally true story.

Scare Time

I stumbled across this on Tumblr (ha, that’s almost a rhyme), and I’ve got to say, it’s pretty dang creepy. And since October is the month for creepiness, I figured I should share it with you guys. Fair warning, it’s about an hour long. It’s just an audio file of a teacher telling “The Kimberly Story” to a bunch of high school students (which is good, because it would scare the pants off anyone younger), so you can listen to it in the background while you do something else. But for maximum effect, I suggest waiting until dark and turning off the lights.

For those who don’t want to wait, the gist is this: back when he lived in Texas, a girl in his class disappeared. Then she came back. And then things go from weird to terrifying. Is it real? I don’t know. The things that happened certainly don’t seem like they could be. While it’s based on some actual events, most of it seems embellished. The keyword being “seems”. Either way, real or fake, it’s a damn scary story, perfect for this time of year.

Take a listen.

Then, since I assume you’ll be up for three days straight, you’ll have plenty of time to come back to the blog and share your thoughts.

Eternally Yours

Since I’ve been hinting at it for a while, I might as well fill in the details. Remember when I was talking about the Slender Man a few weeks ago (visit TV Tropes if you want to know more about it, but fair warning, that site is a timesuck)? Yeah, it’s based on that. Enduring Eternity is a horror story that I’ve been “blogging” for the past few months about a guy who calls himself Axel trying to make sense of the events that turned his life into a waking nightmare.

The last post went up on Halloween (which ended up being a happy coincidence), bringing the total to thirty nine (a multiple of thirteen, another happy coincidence). It follows Axel through his ups and lows in his personal life as he tries to piece together what happened after his car broke down, leaving him and his friend stranded in the forest. There is no violence, but some gruesome imagery (although only in a couple of posts). Also, he swears kind of a lot. And comments are off so if you have anything to say, you have to tell me here (I hang out on a forum for these kinds of blogs, but I’m guessing you guys aren’t there, so…).

In total, it’s about 37,000 words, so basically it’s a novella. If you like horror and creepy things, I hope you check it out. The blog is here, in the Dynamic Views format, but it actually works for a blog like this and it’s really easy to scroll down to the beginning. Or if you prefer, the first post is here.

Thanks for listening! Um, reading.

The Meaning of Fear

I enjoy scary movies and such, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not often scared by them. I mean, it’s not like they’re spiders or public speaking. I’m not in real danger, so there isn’t much fear. So when I find something that actually gives me chills, I take note.

Recently, I’ve become quite the fan of the Slender Man Mythos. The Slender Man is basically an eldritch abomination that appears as a tall, faceless man in a business suit. It’s…less ridiculous than it sounds. Those who cross paths with it usually end up in pieces. Or worse.

The two most popular methods of telling Slender stories are via blogs or vlogs (although there has also been a few video games and even movies). There are some good blogs out there, but the vlogs are really where the terror of the Slender Man shines, so I’m going to share with you lucky people the ones that I’m currently following.

Tribe Twelve

In A Nutshell: While reviewing footage of his deceased cousin’s last visit, Noah discovers something stalking Milo. And now it’s set its sights on Noah.

In terms of scariness, this one varies from mild to moderate. It’s more mystery oriented, and unlike some mysteries, there are actually answers. It’s just that they end up being worse than not knowing anything.

Everyman Hybrid

In A Nutshell: Four friends decide to post exercise and health videos with a funny background gag of being stalked by a certain tall being. Then their houses get broken into, they find garbage bags filled with body parts, and everyone around them starts dying.

Moderate to very scary. It’s honestly a lot milder at first, but things keep getting worse for the main characters. There’s a lot of mystery, but also a lot of gore, especially later on. If you watch about six videos in, when they’re still trying to do their exercise videos, you’ll see some surprisingly gruesome things. And that’s nothing compared to what’s in store. Seriously, you just have to be amazed at what these guys can do with a shoestring budget.

Dark Harvest

In A Nutshell: Alex wants to record the strange noises in his house. That somehow snowballs into him and his friend Nick trying to hide from a cult that worships a very nasty being.

For the most part, it’s only mildly scary, but it’s also got a lot going on to keep viewers interested. It’s not as action-y (or gruesome) as Everyman Hybrid, nor is it as what-the-hell-is-going-on?! as Tribe Twelve. Dark Harvest manages to meet somewhere in the middle and give the best of both worlds.

Marble Hornets

In A Nutshell: Jay is reviewing some footage he got from his old friend Alex. And he’s finding some pretty disturbing things. It only gets worse when he insists upon investigating.

I would call it the scariest one, with episodes ranging from “frightening” to “heart attack”. I think the first video is a good example of what’s to come: it’s disorienting, terrifying, and inescapable. All in something like thirty seconds.

Fearless

I am not actually without fear. I believe spiders will try to crawl into my mouth if I’m not careful because they are unholy creatures even Satan shuns. I’m also not a fan of public speaking unless, like here, I can craft my words via typing. But when it comes to movies, books and video games, I’m rarely frightened. This isn’t a shock since I literally grew up reading Stephen King (I was the only fifth grader who brought CHRISTINE to class to read) and was similarly indoctrinated to horror movies (I remember watching Alienwhen I couldn’t have been more than seven). So, in summation, it takes a lot for a book/movie/game to scare me.

There’s a reason I threw “game” in there. While roving through the internet one day when I should have been editing, I came across a story about “the Slender Man”. It’s an urban legend actually invented on the internet, about a tall, thin man in a black suit with no face, just white where eyes and a mouth should be. In all a good story. Nothing to write home about, but hey. It’s different from the usual ghosts and ghouls.

Except. There is a game called Slender, released free for download over the internet. I heard about it and decided to check it out on YouTube and…it was scary. Actually scary. Silent Hill was interesting, but didn’t make me blink and this, released as an indie game, actually frightened me enough that I didn’t want to download it, the crummy YouTube videos were enough for me. Not long after I stumbled across another game, Deep Sleep. It’s a Flixel game and so the graphics aren’t on par with Slender, but it’s still creepy as sh!t. It’s also a short point-and-click game, where you collect items to use to escape a typical scary setting. For such a quick game, it sure gave me chills.

What these games have in common is the lurking figure, the one that remains just out of sight and hunting you. Neither has a strong story or any characters except the first-person player, but those aren’t necessary. You are the character, something is after you, and you have to keep moving. A simple concept, but don’t go mistaking that for a criticism. If you want a good story, look elsewhere. If you want to be scared, go for either one of these games.

And leave the lights on.

Scarefest

I have a confession to make: while I enjoy scary movies and books, for the most part, I’m not scared by them. Okay, it’s kind of a strange confession, but it’s true. I might jump if I’m in a theater (because anything is scary in a movie theater), but that’s it. There isn’t much terror in it. If it’s not the first time I’ve watched it, forget about it. The same goes for books, too. Maybe this is because I’ve read Stephen King ever since I was eight, but I don’t ever remember being sleep-with-the-light’s-on-or-the-monster-will-get-me scared.

Am I weird? Eh, whatever. It doesn’t stop me from enjoying it. Unless it’s a bad movie. Because those just ruin everything. But if you’re looking for something scary, you might want to try the books and movies that actually scared me:

The Orphanage

Fright Rating: 2 (Out of 5)

This was a Spanish movie that received a limited release in the US. I had to travel across the state to see it (not as far as it sounds, trust me) but it was worth it. While it wasn’t super scary, it gave me chills. It was an emotionally driven movie about a family who bought a house that twenty years ago, was the orphanage the mother lived in. Ghostly things start happening and the end was quite a punch to the gut. If you don’t mind reading subtitles, try to pick up a copy.

IT

Fright Rating: 2

Stephen King’s tale of the monster that wakens every twenty-seven years or so to stalk children of a town in Maine. Parts of this book still give me tingles and I’ve probably read it a dozen times. I think the scariest part is Mike Hanlon’s reflections about the nature of the word haunt (is anyone surprised that word play drew my attention?) and what it means to the town of Derry.

The Exorcist

Fright Rating: 3

I’m so glad I was able to see the rerelease in the theater. It really creeped me out, even though it wasn’t the first time I saw the movie. The basic plot is about a girl, daughter to a movie star, who is seemingly possessed. The book delves deeper into the “is she faking it?” question and is at least as scary as the movie, perhaps more so because there’s more time for the tension to build and more tension always encourages horror.

Paranormal Activity

Fright Rating: 3

Found footage movies are kind of this generation’s slasher movies. Some people hate them, but most of them scare me (unlike slasher movies, which I find to be yawn-fests). I thought Paranormal Activity was well done because a lot of the fear hinges on how real it seems. And it’s not gory or full of monsters. It’s just two people trying to make sense of evidence that neither is prepared to deal with.

The Statement of Randolph Carter

Fright Rating: 3.5

Actually, this goes for pretty much everything of Lovecraft’s that I’ve read, including Herbert West—Reanimator, The Call of Cthulhu, and the Whisperer in Darkness. All scared me a pretty decent amount. I think that is due to Lovecraft’s skill at building tension and describing people who are so frightened, that they would rather jump out of a window rather than face the demon (in all fairness, it’s a pretty bad demon).

House of Leaves

Fright Factor: 3.5

This is a great example of realistic horror. No monsters (okay, that’s arguable), just a situation that is so inexplicable that it’s frightening. It’s also very character driven, which I love. Most of the fear comes from this family who returns from a short vacation to find their house has gained new hallways, one of which should lead out into the back yard but instead goes into a cold black corridor.

So these are my recommendations for the Halloween season. Enjoy the scarefest! And all hail great Cthulhu!