Spam Highlights, 3

Yes, still doing this. Tomorrow’s Christmas! What do you expect?

I remember this day. Someone hacked into the Facebook account I don’t have. I don’t have Facebook so I don’t know, but if someone tries to log in to your account, how is it possible that they have the name of this person? Aren’t they pretending to be me?
 

Large Angela is far more accurate in her Angel readings. Because she’s larger.

Sigh… can you imagine if stuff like this really happened? My life would be so much better. No more fear of losing my health insurance or not having enough to buy things… Sigh…

Apparently Security comma Mary really wants to get in touch with me about my account. There has been a Suspicious Connection.

I have to finish up with what was my most memorable fake follower, the woman constantly looks posed whose eyes you never see in any of the photos she’s posted. I am still one hundred percent confident she is not a real person. And I don’t mean that she’s photos stolen from the internet, I really think someone is just posing a realistic doll.

Spam Highlights, 2

More of this. It’s just so easy.

A free knife who? Don’t leave me hanging!

They really couldn’t make up their mind. Not only is it two messages with two different “order numbers”, it’s also my order—except I’ve been chosen. And it’s saying Why wait! Not even a question there. Also one says Capital One in the message instead of Samsung TV. I mean, the other message was right there. It shouldn’t have been that hard for them to copy and paste.

Okay, I can barely read this. That word has to be Vegas, but it looks like it begins with B—is that seriously supposed to be a V??? I mean, that other word has to be Verification. Plus there’s the fact that the P in Payout looks like a B as well. Did they seriously think people would click on this just because it has a very fancy font?

This was a recent comment on an etymology post. Twelve years ago.
 

I seem to remember this being the name of an actual, real human being, who probably was not too happy to hear he was being imitated on twitter.

Spam Highlights, 1

As we’re approaching another holiday, I’m taking it easy. How easy? It’s not only a spam post, it’s a spam post of spam I’ve already posted this year. Think of it as the best of the worst.
 

One of the first spam messages I posted this year! It kind of set the tone for the rest of the year.

It wouldn’t be spam without a cancer widow. She really shouldn’t have been fasting when she, you know, has cancer. How many more times can she throw “The Lord” in there?

Because I know just so many people named Helga. And how about that email address? What the hell is fly-rescue-dot-club? You know, besides a spam email account.
 

Hmmm. Nope. I definitely don’t consider myself capable for details. Sorry, John Abajian, Protocol Manager.

I don’t think I’ll be hiring anyone for marketing when they have that many grammatical errors in their solicitation email.

Christmas Re-Post #3

Peaches!

Usually she just tries to eat people food.

Christmas Re-Post #2

This one’s a two-parter since they’re related. You can also see how obviously I just copy-pasted everything.

Have a good holiday! Remember to stay away from people and keep your mask on! You know, like I’ve done every day of my life.

Christmas Re-Post #1

Looking back on my best* Christmas comics this year.

*Best being a relative term.

Christmas Re-Post #3

Only four more days until the New Year.

Now I only have a cat that actually gives me personal space while I sleep. I don’t know how I’ll survive.

Christmas Re-Post #2

Happy post-Christmas Come Down. Anyone else had a TON of candy?

One of my favorites of her.

Christmas Re-Post #1

AKA it’s the last full week of the year and I’m too lazy to do real posts. I’m not ashamed of this.

And just like with the last holiday, this week is going to be about Veronica, since I will always miss her.

She was always so loud… like an engine.

'Tis The Season (To Slack Off)

The  holiday season is fast approaching and I’m totally busy. Mostly with setting up my new laptop, which for some reason won’t let me scroll in Word which is...kind of an issue.

So here’s a Christmas quiz that Liz turned me onto to keep you occupied while I try to figure out how to stop this stupid thing from being stupid. Anyway, have a good end of the year! Once 2016 is dead it can never come back!

Pre-Christmas Filler

Today’s filler comic is going to be even lazier than Tuesday’s. How is that possible? you might ask. Don’t underestimate me. I am so lazy that I am just going to throw up a comic from last Christmas and pretend that it’s new! And no one can stop me!

Merry Christmas!

Or whatever you celebrate. Although today is Christmas. So have a happy day no matter what.

You might think this is the same as Thanksgiving, but not so. We have candy instead of cookies on Christmas.

My blood is probably mostly sugar by now.

No regrets.

Christmas Filler

It's that time of year again. Where I have to post stick figure comics because I'm being forced to spend time with my (ugh!) family. This year, since I had no other ideas, I decided to pontificate on the reasons I hated high school so much...

Reason #1: The Mid-Winter Fire Drills

Reason #2: The Guidance Counselors

Reason #3: The Teachers

Reason #4: The Stupid Logic

Reason #5: Did I mention the teachers?

Going Postal 3

And here’s my third and last repost to celebrate my third blogiversary, which will actually occur on Monday the 16^th. As I already did my most viewed post and what I think was the best one, I’m now going to repost my overall favorite…

Why You Should Use Bags [Originally posted Saturday, December 24, 2011]

Have a very merry Christmas. Or, if you prefer, holiday. Whatever you do, have fun and be safe. Here’s my gift to you. I worked very hard on it.

Okay, I worked on it.

…it’s filler so I don’t have to think up a new post.

Click to embiggen.

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Don’t wrap presents. Use bags. Because wrapping is really, really annoying. Oh, and the environment or something.

It may just be something I scribbled in Paint, but I still find it hilarious. And also accurate. Cats do not make good helpers when it comes to wrapping presents. A close second in my favorites, perhaps only skipped because it was so recent, is my post about giant candy buttons. Further proof that the world doesn't love us.

Happy Holidays!

For me that means Christmas. For you, whatever you celebrate. Have a happy and safe holiday and please remember not to drink and drive.

As always, I’m going to post something special for Christmas and I figured, why not now? I’m not going to be around on the 25^th, so I don’t expect you to be either. I figured I might as well leave this up until etymology Thursday and not have to come up with a new post. It’s called efficiency laziness. No, wait, I was right the first time.

Anyway, here’s the Seven Deadly Sins (Of Writing). As always, click to embiggen.

Fact Check Fail

Critiquer Flaming

“Die for not understanding my vision!”

Sales Envy

Review Padding

Word Abuse

Solitaire

Advance Greed

“Five hundred dollars? For giving you the privilege of publishing my work I should be getting five hundred thousand dollars!”

 

PS. This is my 500^th post :D. I think it’s pretty well representative of the whole.

Why You Should Use Bags

Have a very merry Christmas. Or, if you prefer, holiday. Whatever you do, have fun and be safe. Here’s my gift to you. I worked very hard on it.

Okay, I worked on it.

…it’s filler so I don’t have to think up a new post.

Click to embiggen.

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Don’t wrap presents. Use bags. Because wrapping is really, really annoying. Oh, and the environment or something.