More Updates

I don’t trust them, for good reason.

Each update slowly unmakes my laptop.

Updating

Every Windows Update breaks my laptop just a little more.

And don’t bother pointing out that all the protons being decayed would include my laptop. I already know.

Expired

Has anyone ever used a warranty ever?

Seriously, the notifications keep popping up. I don’t know how to get them to stop.

Dirty

Ever try to clean something only to have it get dirtier? Sometimes there’s a reason.

 It’s easy to clean something when all you have to do is hit delete.

Disappointing

I got a new router to help with my internet issues and…yeah, they’re mostly solved, although there’s still the occasional blip. Anyway, here’s what actually happened the day it arrived.

I politely told them no thank you, but I swear, if disappointment could be distilled into its purest essence, it would be that moment.

Lies

Another frigging update for Windows 10. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t remove the suck.

In all fairness, it wasn’t all terrible. I can scroll in large documents again. Except now for some reason, now the Number Lock won’t turn off so I can’t use the Home and End buttons there…but only when I’m online. In Word, it’s fine. But if I’m typing into an address bar and want to jump to the beginning, it just goes 77777. Unless I hold down the Control button.

It’s so stupid. Microsoft is unmaking Windows 10 one update at a time.

A Working Computer

After months and months of complaining about my laptop, I finally got a new one! And now that a month has passed and the novelty has worn off, I can now review it with some objectivity. It’s…not bad?

I got a Dell Inspiron that for some reason I keep trying to spell as “Inspirion” for some reason. It’s not exactly top of the line, but I don’t need anything fancy. It plays what I want it to and that’s all that matters.

It seems to work better than my last one, although that may just be because it hasn’t been bogged down by years of downloads. It doesn’t overheat from trying to use Flash, definitely a plus, actually plays videos when I’m streaming, and there have been a lot less internet connectivity issues that make me go berserk because it tells me to look for solutions online.

However, it’s not without its flaws. Big, huge, bothersome flaws. The touchpad is horrible. You need to use two fingers to scroll—like some kind of animal—and half the time when I hit the lower right corner to right click it just regular clicks because it’s a piece of crap. And can you change any of these functions to something you like? No! Not at all. Because it’s not enough to have a bad touchpad, you have to have a bad touchpad driver, too.

Plus there are other weird, stupid things. For some reason, it will not scroll in Word when I have a large document open. Say like one for a novel I’m trying to write. Yeah, it’s a bit of an issue. I can still scroll using the touchscreen for some reason and I do use it, but I hate it because I hate touchscreens. Which is why I didn’t order one. But I got one anyway. Although considering the scrolling/touchpad issues, I’ve been forced to use it. Which I hate. It gunks up the screen.

Now, as annoying as this is, it’s still a much better computer. When I first turned it on, I was shocked at some of the colors that I had been missing on a clearly inferior screen. It was like getting new glasses and seeing the world clearly for the first time. And, like I said, it just plain runs better. Hell, we might have had the last comic that involves me throwing my computer out the window in frustration.

Well, maybe.

Threats Are The Only Thing It Understands

Remember when I talked about how the L key in my computer was only working sporadically? Well, it’s still an issue.

Still getting a new one, though.

The New Digs

Computer digs, I mean. I’ve had my new laptop for over a month now, so I think it’s fair to say that I can judge it properly. It’s…well, you know what, this will probably be easier in list form, because lists just make everything better.

Pros

---Boots up like hella fast; I have to give Windows 8 credit for that

---I can finally copy links from the address bar in Chrome again; seriously, that was driving me nuts

---Um…the cat seems to enjoy licking it…not really sure what to make of this

Cons

---Windows 8 (technically 8.1, but that really isn’t better)

---I have to use the FN key if I want to use F7, which as you probably all know, is the spell check/thesaurus button; and you know what, this might be a small thing, but it’s a pain in the freaking ass

---I can’t just find a program, right click, and put it on the desk top; I have to manually create an icon just so I have easy access to it on the desk top; italicized because SERIOUSLY WHY IS THAT A THING?

---Of course, you can’t just find a program anyway, as there’s no Programs button in the start menu; you’re just supposed to start typing what you want and pray that the right thing comes up (and that it’s not under some stupid name you don’t recognize)

---Seriously, I hate the Start menu; it’s blocky and colorful and I want things in neat, list-like rows

---Oh, and here’s a switch as I’ll actually be complaining about something other than Windows 8, but rather Toshiba as they’re the ones who made this thing; I couldn’t scroll using the touch panel; do you have any idea how annoying that is? It took me a week to figure out how to fix it (Toshiba’s help site was exactly no help); until then, I had to use the arrow keys or manually scroll like an animal!

---Windows 8. I just don’t think I can explain in words how unintuitive it is; for a tablet or a touchscreen, yeah, maybe it would work; but I don’t frigging have one of those, do I, Windows 8? DO I?

---All the apps stupid Windows 8 tries to shove down my throat; you know what, Windows 8? I don’t need a “Food and Drink” app. I don’t need your stupid “Mail”. What I need is to be able to find my copy of Microsoft Word and Paint for all my Spamfiles pictures. But do you make them easy to find? Or do you give me the stupidest bass-ackwards interface that someone thought up after huffing lead based paint?

---Windows 8. Go die in a fire.

Okay, so there are way more Cons than Pros, mostly because of Windows f*****g 8 being a piece of garbage. I know shouldn’t complain about something that was basically free but…man, I wish I could have picked it out myself.

If you’re in the market for a new computer/laptop, for the love of all that is holy, wait until the next version of Windows comes out because it can’t be as bad as this monstrosity. If your computer dies early, you’re better off getting an old one with Windows 7 than suffering with 8.

Seriously, Windows 8. Hate you.

Computer Hints

I’m computer literate, although I’d hardly call myself an expert. Still, I’m the most tech savvy person in my family, meaning I’m the one everyone calls when something screws up. My life would be much, much simpler if they used some common sense rules.

1. Shut it down and restart it. It doesn’t matter what it is. Laptop, iPad, modem, whatever, it isn’t working right, just shut it down and restart it before calling me.

2. Whatever you download, make sure that you don’t agree to install anymore toolbars. They only make things slower. And you certainly don’t need fifty of them. Seriously, uncheck the box!

3. You don’t need that stupid Weatherbug app. There are a million pages online that tell you what the weather is like outside. Having the app does nothing but spawn popups and eat CPU.

4. If you’re wondering why your browser is so slow, it’s because you’re using Explorer. Chrome, Firefox, Safari, literally anything is better than Explorer. Jumping into the internet Tron-style and battling digital monsters to find the information yourself is faster than Explorer. Not to mention safer.

5. Any program that claims it will make your computer run faster is lying. Ditto anything that claims it’s a free antivirus software. If you want to avoid a virus, don’t click on links that are shortened or unrecognizable.

6. And don’t click on any links in emails, ever, even if it looks real (this one is a special shoutout to my sister, as my mom knows better).

7. It’s not full memory that makes your computer run slow, it’s the crap you download that’s full of malware.

8. Seriously. Just shut it off and turn it back on.

Now, if I could only get my family to pay attention to this list…

Crash

What do you think is the absolute worst thing that could happen to a writer?

Hint: look at the title of this post.

That’s right. Last Thursday, the worst of the worst happened to me. It wasn’t a complete crash, and I (thankfully) didn’t get a blue screen of death, but it did require me to restart my laptop back to when I first got it. I’m not even sure what happened exactly. When I turned it on, it wouldn’t connect to the internet. The wi-fi seemed broken somehow, although every other device in the house was connecting okay. The laptop just kept flashing “Can’t detect signal” (or something like that). The troubleshooting feature kept telling me to search for a new signal, except it wouldn’t do it. Oh, and here’s the kicker: Windows Help wouldn’t work at all either.

When help wouldn’t work, I got nervous since that really shouldn’t happen. So I used the restore feature on my computer. Except that didn’t do a thing! I was finally able to connect to the internet with an Ethernet cable, but Windows was still having trouble loading (big shocker). In the end, I had to…oh, it’s too hard to say! I mean write!…wipe the whole thing. Back to October 2011.

I lost a ton of stuff. My WIPs are all right of course. I have those backed up in like three different ways (as you should, too). But I did lose a lot of old stories that weren’t any good, but I liked to have for sentimental reasons (the short story I wrote for creative writing when I was a senior in high school!). Plus I lost my idea file, which had a bunch of random thoughts that I tried (and failed) to make into stories but maybe could have used in some way, probably not but still, I might have thought of something. I’m not too upset about that, but it’s still kind of a bummer.

The only thing I lost that I’m really kicking myself for not having a backup of is my file of Spam messages. There was about sixty of those that are lost in cyber oblivion, and I’m stuck without anything to post on the Spamfiles. So that sucks.

If you want to help me in my hour of need and can’t afford to buy me a new laptop, forward me some amusing spam messages you’ve gotten (click that link or the one in my profile!). Surely that’s not too much to ask!

And for your own sakes, back up your hard drives.

I’m going to go eat a gallon of ice cream.

Websites for Writers

Blogger is what I use for this blog. Obviously. For the most part, I love it. It’s easy for someone like me, who despite being of the internet generation, has trouble figuring out how to do anything computer-related. I know. I’m a travesty.

So I’m going to highlight one of the things it’s taken me half a year to figure out just in case there’s anyone out there going through the same ordeals.

First of all, comments. I can be terrible at replying to comments left on my blog, but not because I don’t care. It’s because there’s no “reply” button on Blogger (probably my only real beef with them). I found it very confusing that so many other bloggers seemed able to email me back…and then it hit me. Email notifications—duh.

Go to Settings, then Comments and scroll down to the bottom where it says Comment Notification Email. I put my email address in there and whenever one of you leaves me a comment, it gets sent to me. Replying is now a cinch because all I have to do is hit the reply button on my email! I wonder if that was the logic in Blogger not including a reply button in their service. After a few weeks of using this, I definitely like it. Email makes it a lot easier to reply to people’s comments and I know they’ll actually read it. Well, at least skim through it.

Next, I want to mention the auto-update feature, which I’ve been enjoying recently. In fact, it updated this very post! I know. Zen. Anyway, it’s easy to use. You put the post in like you normally do but instead of hitting that post button, you go just above it to “Post options.” On the right hand side you switch it from “automatic” to “scheduled at” and put in the date and time you want it to post. And there you go!

It’s always fun when I figure out how to do something, even when it’s something most people already know. When it comes to computers, that happens to me a lot.

Enjoy!

Update

Whew, I’ve been up to a lot, writing-wise. Critiques really make you go "Ohhhhhh." It’s so weird how something can make perfect sense to you but no one else. I have tons of ideas of what to fix to make it, you know. Understandable. It still won’t be ready to query, but it will be critiqued with fewer red lines! : D

Also, I’ve been thinking about updating my blog’s image. It’s been about six months so I guess it’s about time to make things more interesting. I’ll see if I can get it up by the end of the month.

Out of context, that last sentence can look very dirty.

Anyway, I have to admit, I’m not very good with computers. I took three different computer classes in high school and while I remember how to take one apart and put it back together (don’t hold me to this, but I think I can do it) I cannot for the life of me figure out coding or software or any of that stuff. Further proof that talent isn’t genetic: my father is a systems analyst. I have no idea what it is he actually does.

So don’t expect major changes. I’ll be lucky if I can get it to run. I’ll also be lucky not to instigate a war between computers and humanity.