Tuesday, February 9, 2021

From The Spamfiles

Yay, spam! It’s so much easier to deal with than real life.

The “Do I fit your tastes?” combined with the “Last seen 10 minutes ago” makes it seem like somebody thinks I’m a serial killer, which is not true, I’m not a serial killer.

She’s not Nancy, she’s “Nancy”. She’s only Nancy ironically.

This one… seems kind of unique. It wants to give me homework help, but in the preview line it says, ahem, “8 ways to master microwave breakfasts”. Is that a big homework problem people have?

LISTEN VERY INTENTLY TO THIS EMAIL YOU ARE READING TO YOURSELF. ALSO OUR CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK.
 
The cancer widows are back! I was getting worried that they all died.

I can one hundred percent guarantee that no, I have not ever thought of us as a couple.
 
This is Bat Fastard signing off.

5 comments:

  1. My bank always emails me in all caps... These people need to research how the organization they're pretending to be actually correspond.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I suppose mastering microwave breakfasts would be homework help for home ec. Do schools have home ec anymore? I mean, one school I sub at does, but it's more of a cooking class. Then there's the work experience cooking class...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah, the cancer widows. They must have figured they had to lay off awhile because of Covid.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Everyone knows you can't homework until after you microwave breakfast.
    It makes perfect sense.

    ReplyDelete

Please validate me.