Or Thanksgivingocalypse. Because one of my monthly goals is
to do another apocalypse post, and honestly, spending time with my family sure
seems like an apocalyptic scenario. So I made a list of all the things I could
do that would actually make for a Thanksgiving. You know, if anyone would
actually do them.
How to Avoid the Thanksgivingocalypse
1. No alcohol. This isn’t a judgment against anyone who
drinks. I’ve seen people out there who can handle a glass of wine without
turning into a total a$$hole. And except for my mom, none of those people are
in my family.
2. Avoid dangerous topics. You know, like politics and
religion and who has to do the dishes. They only turn into screaming matches with
things getting broken and people getting hurt.
3. If someone tells you to do something, do the exact
opposite. For example, if someone tells you to play a tired, not-funny-ever
prank on someone else, don’t frigging do it.
4. I can’t believe I have to say this, but no pot. Apparently,
it never occurred to some people that it’s not okay to do something illegal in
someone else’s house without their permission and while there are children in
the next room.
5. Don’t lie to people about who’s coming so they show up
only to find out there’s someone they don’t want to spend time with. Then don’t
shame them for it.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just my family that turns
Thanksgiving—and all holidays—into a total nightmare. What are your tips for
surviving the holidays? Or do you actually have fun? If so, I’d sure like to
know what you’re doing right…
You have people in your family who smoke pot at Thanksgiving? At least there is plenty of food when they get the munchies.
ReplyDeleteNone of our Thanksgivings were ever that bad. Then again, I'm glad I live on the opposite coast from mine now.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I'll have to deal with at Christmas if I'm going to go see my dad. I have no interest at all in being anywhere near my sister who lives in the area. Fortunately that's what excursions to a museum or gallery are for.
ReplyDeleteWe tend to have pretty good family gatherings.
ReplyDeleteI am hosting Thanksgiving and -- I'm sorry -- I'll have to break Rule #1. I will probably need a hidden flask to get through the day.
ReplyDeleteI don't really have those sorts of issues with my family. Perhaps because no one drinks? Maybe that's it.
ReplyDeleteI can't say my family get-to-gather will come across these issues, but this post is timely. I better not pull that prank I was planning, I guess... :)
ReplyDelete