Sensational

I’ve been working on sensory descriptions in my WIP, so yes. A post on that subject.

The five senses are part of any story. (Technically there are more than five, like estimating how much time has passed is actually the real “sixth sense”, but we don’t want to get too complicated.) A world can’t be fully built unless the character is able to sense every part of it, from the smell of a grill to the color of the sunset.

1. Sight.

Sight is the easiest, obviously. Describing a person or a place is pretty much lesson one of writing. It’s important to make the descriptions vivid, so the reader can “see” it correctly, not necessarily by going into excessive detail, but by using a few strong words carefully.

2. Sound.

Sound is easy to describe, but also easy to forget about. Wherever a character is, there’s not nothing going on around him/her. Maybe it’s the approach of a pursuer, or maybe it’s just the rush of air over their eardrums as they’re panting for breath. Sound can even be used to emphasize boredom. They hear a television on in the distance, or someone walking upstairs as they sit in a waiting room.

3. Touch.

What are you touching right now? A computer/laptop. A chair. Your clothes, I really hope. The point is, it happens a lot. It’s also a good way for a character to judge something and then communicate those feelings to the reader. For example, they see what looks like a child’s toy ball on the ground but when they pick it up, they find it’s too heavy and smooth like metal. BOOM. It’s not a toy, it’s something else.

4. Smell.

Smell is one of the more forgotten senses. Truthfully, it can’t always tell as much as a simple glance will. But smell is the most evocative sense we have, so using it to show that food has gone bad or that someone splashed on too much cologne rather than washed is pretty powerful. Also gross. You can also do it with nice smelling things.

5. Taste.

I would say taste is the least used of the senses in terms of writing. It’s rare that a use pops up for it outside of a few mentions of what the characters are eating. Still, it should pop up at (appropriate) times to fully round out the world of the book.

See? Five senses. They’re used to describe everything and keep the reader involved with the story. It sounds so much simpler than it actually is.

Background Noise

A good story makes you see, hear and feel everything the characters experience. However, think about it: if you live next to a busy road, you eventually stop hearing the traffic. Heck, it goes much further than that. You don’t feel the fabric of your clothes on your skin unless you think about it, you don’t hear every minor hum or whistle. Your body blocks out all that extraneous stuff so you don’t go crazy.

The same thing is needed in books. Yes, we want to experience what the characters are going through, we no more want to have every over-wrought, over-written piece of information that occurs in the character’s “life” than we do our own.

Description in stories is a delicate balance. I’ve read books where the author has to tell you the day every freckle popped up on a minor character’s face, or gone into detail about every piece of furniture in a room the characters pass through and never return to. I’ve also read the complete opposite and it creates a disconnect, another situation you want to avoid.

In order to be truly evocative, you have to be able to describe well. This can lead to bogging down. “I walked into a kitchen painted a blinding white, my shoes clipping on rusted tile and kicking into the forgotten groceries more than once.” Pick one thing and describe it, then get into the other stuff as it becomes important. Make the reader feel what’s going on, but don’t weigh them down. They have to be able to move through the story or they’ll end up skipping places and maybe missing something that’s important.

My advice is to watch for information dump and large blocks of text. Highlight them and read them separately from the book. Maybe even paste them into new documents and change the font so it seems like you’re reading something new. And of course, get beta readers who to tell you if any part throws them out of the story.

Well, that’s my two cents. Do you fear over/under description? Do you have any good methods to combat it?

Pretty Little Words

Description can be hard for me to write. It’s usually what I have to add while I’m editing. Now by description, I don’t mean “he walked into the room,” or “she wasn’t tall, but thin enough to appear lanky.” I mean the little details that add flavor to the book, the good ones that really put a picture in your head.

For example, which one is better:

1: The briefcase was blue, an unusual color for business accessories, with a five-number combination lock on the front. Whatever it held was secured well.

-or-

2: It was a blue that screamed faux leather, a briefcase any well-presented executive wouldn’t be caught dead with. Even the combination lock was overdone: five numbers had to be turned before the clips released. Bad men stay out! Secret papers, in!

The first one doesn’t have much personality. The second is a bit overwritten (it was done by me after all), but I feel it has more voice, a kind of bemusement at the super-security. I also think it paints a better word-picture : )

Thoughts? Words? Needless description?

Descriptive

I am one of the many people diagnosed with over-write-itus. It can be fatal in some cases, but I work hard to trim fatty sentences and reduce word waste, thereby giving my books a chance at being readable.

Honestly, it’s hard. Not the cutting of chapters or scenes, which in most cases I can come to accept quickly. When I look at something and think “this doesn’t really add anything,” it’s easy to decide something must go. If it’s something I really like and really feel is vital, then I just sit down and think why anyone would suggest it gone. Maybe I can rework it into other chapters. Again, not a problem.

My trouble is I use ten words when two will suffice. It’s hard to sit down and look at something long and find the exact words that can make it short, sweet and readable.

Plus, I tend to add unnecessary description, especially towards the beginning of the book. Some extra description is necessary to orient the reader, but too much just makes it boring. I’m looking at you, self. Wait. Let me get a mirror. Now I’m looking at you. And get that smug look off your face.

So I implore: make each word count! Cut, combine, condense! Don’t attempt to be lyrical or descriptive. If it happens, it happens, but you can't make it happen. I guess you could say the whole is greater than the sum of its words. Losing/changing some does not change the story and should not change your voice (some books—some—do need every word, but these are usually first person; even so, some changes wouldn’t be terrible).

Perhaps most importantly: don’t think you’re above over writing. Very few are and they’re more endangered than pandas. And please remember that one perfect word will stand well where ten could not hold a sentence.

Deep. 

Emergency Edit: Karen Jones Gowen at Coming Down the Mountain is going to give away cookies. Cookies. She's made it her business, so I'm thinking they're good. So now that you're thinking about overwriting, visit her blog for cookies.