From The Spamfiles

Here’s something that… probably won’t cheer you up but is the best I have.

I’ve gotten a couple of these recently, and, surprisingly, on posts that aren’t five years old. It’s like the spammers have finally figured out it’s kind of suspicious when they post their comments on ancient posts. Not really sure why they’re so anti-soy, but whatever.

Oh, they got my address from a directory. I was worried there for a second that this might be some kind of scam.

Ah, yes. My ATM card for my Africa-based bank. It’s not like there are any banks around here for me to use.

…That combination of emojis just made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Huh. I wonder if being in quarantine is going to make this type of spam way more prevalent. My guess is… yes.

Good, the profile I didn’t create has been successfully created. Time to use all those faitures before I miss all the hot adults.

...I suppose I should be surprised it took them this time to turn it into spam. But mostly I’m just enraged. Though they are right. The government doesn’t want to help us and actively wants us dead.