---Yeah, another one. I sat down to write this week’s posts and had no ideas. All my creativity is being spent on a new WIP, so it’s whatever I can come up with off the top of my head. I wouldn’t expect any shocking revelations.
---Wait a minute…there’s an Angry Molester Tree in Cabin in the Woods? Why does that sound familiar to me?
---Probably because I read too many comics.
---Fresh eggs sink in water. Stale eggs float.
---I bet a nude airline would have a lot less security.
---I don’t know what’s more stupid, the criminal act the perpetrator posted on his Facebook page or the fact that he uses “too” wrong.
---No, never mind. It’s the latter.
---A thirty-year-old woman who drank two gallons of Coca-Cola a day died? Shocking.
---The only thing worse than people who make racist comments are people who make racist comments and then insist “you’re being too sensitive” when you call them on it.
---Rule 34: if something exists, there’s porn for it.
---You can’t unlearn that. You’re welcome.
---Speaking of things you can’t unlearn, about seven thousand years ago, they thought that toothaches were caused by tiny worms in the gums. As “proof”, whenever they pulled out teeth they found a worm there (you know, the nerve ending) and proceeded to rip the sucker out. In a sense, they performed root canals. I assume without anesthetic.
---PS. The “tooth worm” myth has persisted in some places up to last century. Ah, progress!
---I saw this actual, factual ad: “Use steroids. Get caught. Be labeled. Don’t be a *.” I assume they mean how breaking a record while on steroids will mean your name will be given an asterisk and you won’t be the real title holder. But considering what the asterisk sign looks like, it really just seems like they’re saying “Don’t be a(n) asshole.” Which also works.
---And to round it all off, another conversation between me and my mom. This takes place after I had to fix her laptop, which wasn’t powering on for some reason. I removed the battery, plugged it in and it finally worked.
Me: Well, there you go. I think you can put the battery back in now.
Her: I’ll wait until later, that way if it doesn’t work, I can blame you for it. [pause] I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
Me: You meant that exactly the way it sounded.
And it’s true. She totally did.