Thursday, March 24, 2011

Perhaps I Gave Up Too Soon—The Second Crusader Challenge

Liz was right. I gave up too soon. Why? Various stressors coupled with my weakness in creating Flash Fiction. So here is my entry for Rach Harrie's Second Crusader Challenge, where we have to start a flash fiction story of less than a hundred words with "the goldfish bowl teetered." I took up the bonus challenge of writing it in my genre, dystopian YA. Even further, it takes place in the same world as my WIP (although a century earlier), where the heat is in the hundred and twenty degree range and water is scarce. So without further ado...


Fish Sticks

The goldfish bowl teetered on the edge of the table, lost its battle with gravity.

CRA-ASH.

I bolted upright. Next to me, Graham slept undisturbed. If a mouse farted, my brother jumped awake, knife ready. The sound was part of the dream.

Just pretend they’re fish sticks.

That’s what he said after knocking the bowl off the table. I cried. Mom gave them to us, “to save the species.” Graham slapped me, told me to stop wasting water. Then he handed me a mangled goldfish. 

Buddy. Its name was Buddy.

Three days since my last meal. I didn’t hesitate long.

20 comments:

  1. Aww! How sad! Poor Buddy. And, you did very well with the flash piece. I'm glad Liz twisted your arm to write it. :)

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  2. OMG!
    Raw fish... Yum!!! oh wait. Maybe not. XD
    Thanks for sharing. I took the liberty to tweet it since I liked it.

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  3. That last line was totally brilliant and so disturbing! Good job!

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  4. Wow! I like it! So, now what happens next?
    Smiles.

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  5. Wow!!!! So powerful! Love when flash fiction comes together like this!! Great job!

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  6. That was worth the wait! Great job and thanks for not giving up completely.

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  7. Nice! And kind of yucky. :)

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  8. poor fish - poor kids for being so hungry - great peice

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  9. Awww, so sad - and yeah, a little bit yucky. ;)

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  10. I'm so glad I convinced you. Wasn't that fun?

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  11. Aw, thanks guys. Sad and yucky really kind of sums it up!

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  12. Great job! Love the dystopian bent. Poor fishies...

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  13. o_O ...eeeww... LOL. Great job on putting it in your own genre!

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  14. Ha! I love it. You got a lot of story in 100 words. And the fish sticks line is brilliant.

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  15. "If a mouse farted..." Still laughing over that one.

    I'm glad you didn't give up.

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  16. Well that was dark. SO much for the fish. Wow. Great twists, lots of backstory in it. I would love to hear the rest.

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  17. Nice job! I love the "if the mouse farted" line!

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  18. Great job, very nice. :) Unique to make it dystopian, too!!

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Please validate me.